Videogum

Harry Potter And The Deadbeat Dad

Now this is how you do a Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince trailer. None of this 15 pointless seconds of whispers and dull promises bullshit.

You should really watch it in HD, which you can do here. That’s what you should really do. Do it.

It’s true that Harry Potter started out for children, and that seeing adults read early Harry Potter always sends a tiny chill down one’s spine. (Adultus ridiculousum!) But Half-Blood Prince is the book where things got decidedly grim. I don’t have kids (you’re welcome), but this is one of those cultural events (like High School Musical) where you start doing elaborate math on if you did have kids would you allow them to participate in this, and the answer is yes, mostly because you want to be the cool dad who’s more friends to his children then parental figure, but cool dads are shitty dads, and if you were an actual good parent with a firm grasp on child development then the answer would be no, because this shit is too scary. You might as well take your children to a double feature of Harry Potter and Alexandre Aja’s Mirrors, and not a paid double feature either but the kind where you make sure both movies are playing in the same hallway and sneak into the second movie when the teenage employees aren’t looking, because that’s basically stealing, and you should teach your kid about it, because you are the worst parent. Accio child services!