Brenda Walsh Vs. Brenda Walsh

The casting news today is about how Shannen Doherty will be following in the footsteps of Tori Spelling, Jennie Garth, and Joe E. Tata, reclaiming her role in the WB’s upcoming rebalenciagaboot of 90210. Which obviously begs the question, who would win in a fight, Shannen Doherty as Brenda Walsh, or Shannen Doherty as Brenda Walsh. Let’s look at the statistics:

You know, it might seem obvious, but, to borrow a phrase, “being an old Shannen Doherty” is just another way of saying “nothing left to lose.” I have a feeling that she might surprise everyone by digging deep and killing herself in the third round.

I KID BECAUSE I HATE. To be honest, I can’t imagine what it’s like to be the star of a super-popular TV show, not just the fame stuff, but the part where your career as an actor is basically ruined because you’ve been permanently pigeonholed into that one role. I mean, that’s got to be one of the hardest things after war, chronic illness, and genocide. To think what it must be like having nothing but tons of money to get you through those lean years is a nightmare I’m glad I’ll never have to face? I salute these thespians as they return to work. Salute and mock. Salute, mock, and deride. But at least half or 30 percent salute.