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Gotham Needs A Better Class Of Pizza, And Domino’s Isn’t Going To Give It To Them

You guys, I seriously can’t deal with the Domino’s Pizza Dark Knight movie tie-in. Whether it’s the part where they describe the pizza as “cloaked” in pepperoni, or the part where it comes in a black box with a utility belt printed on the back that you’re supposed to cut out? And stick to your clothes with bits of cheese and sauce? And then last night I saw this ad on television:

Um, that pizza delivery girl was thisclose to being raped and stabbed to death in Gotham’s notorious Rape Stab District. Although apparently, if you can avoid getting raped and stabbed by the Joker’s minions long enough to make it to his secret hideout, then he will stop trying to murder you and pay you the money for the pizza promptly? That’s what he’s all about, just testing people’s survival skills and then paying them for their services. And who is she to think that she can negotiate with the Joker, who I’ve been led to believe by 60 YEARS OF COMIC BOOKS is a homicidal maniac, and who just tried to murder her, for a new car? And why is she so nonchalant about what just happened? Domino’s really needs to provide its workers with some kind of on-the-job training or subsidized therapy to address the issue of being so blasé about their lives and vaginal safety.