G4 Hates Your Guts

The World: Do you think a show where people have to eat a bunch of food and try not to puke is a good idea?
Gabe: No.
The World: Have I ever listened to you before?
Gabe: Indeed you have not.
The World: Correct, because I hate you.

So this exists.

(via College Humor)

That one guy is right, “you really can’t prepare for anything like this,” because to attempt to prepare would mean you had agreed to be on the show, which means you’re the dumbest, which means what are you going to prepare? How to not put your pants on upside down? They should tape this show on the edge of a cliff so that when contestants exit the gyroscope there’s a chance, not a sure thing but a chance, that they’ll stumble to their deaths. And when I say “contestants” I mean “development executives” and when I say “gyroscope” I mean “G4 programming meeting.”

But there’s more to this show than just eating and puking.

There’s also more eating.

The few survivors remaining who have held on to their stomachs are forced back to the food table, where they must gorge an additional serving of a surprising new menu item. In a comedic and gag-inspiring display, the remaining few desperately try to prevent themselves from getting sick. If the competition is still underway after the second round of eating, they advance to the final tie-breaker stage, heading back to the daunting physical challenge. And this time, for added pressure, the physical challenge introduces a surprise twist, making the final stage especially difficult.

SPOILER ALERT the twist ending at the end is that your parents walk into the room and demand you pay them back all the money it cost to raise you, and kill yourself.

When the world is ready to apologize to me for, I’d like it in writing, and I’d like it to be sincere.