The World’s Ugliest Dog award went out on June 20 to a dog named Gus who is definitely ugly, so congratulations to everyone involved with that. You provided a clear goal, and you met that goal. But the event has become bittersweet ever since the passing of Sam, who was crowned World’s Ugliest Dog for three years in a row (2003-2005), before going to heaven as all dogs do in 2006. Wait a second, that was two years ago. But we are still mourning the passing of this monster? Fair enough, I don’t make the ugly dog rules.
So, to mark the occasion, Animal Planet created a touching memorial to Sam:
Yeah, Sam was totally an “ugly dog’s ugly dog.” That’s a thing that exists. Only other ugly dogs could truly appreciate what Sam was doing with his ugliness? And he was like Tiger Woods because of how Tiger Woods’s owners are always adopting him from shelters and putting him in niche competitions that people laugh about in their cubicles? You guys, the people at Animal Planet are crazy. And not crazy like a fox, crazy like you should probably go to the hospital because you’re so crazy and there are knives in the house crazy.
But then, right after this tribute was broadcast, on an episode of Groomer Has It, the contestant Artist won the groom-off and made a surprising analogy:
Tiger Woods is the Rosa Parks of Animal Planet metaphors.
Both videos via Joe Mande.