Or so goes a new column in The Onion. If this blog was owned by CNN I would introduce this obvious joke with ‘THIS IS PARODY AND MEANT FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.’ Or, I guess, If I was CNN or Conan O’Brien:
New VH1 Show Canceled For Not Being Pathetic Enough
NEW YORK–In a press release Tuesday, Viacom executives announced their newest hour-long VH1 Celebreality program, Knight Life, with former Brady Bunch star Christopher Knight, has been canceled for failing to reach the wretched depths of the network’s low standards. “Despite some really excellent footage of Christopher vomiting into his hot tub, Knight Life was just not pitiful enough to meet our audience’s expectations,” Viacom president and CEO Philippe Dauman said of the show, which only featured three unsuccessful attempts to hit on strippers, two drunken brawls, and a single midget. “Unfortunately, the program lacked the petty and reprehensible acts that demean all humanity and make for good, compelling television.” Dauman added that VH1 would consider bringing the show back if Knight were to become so distraught by the cancellation that he had to be hospitalized for an unsuccessful suicide attempt.
Burn. VH1 just got taken to Snap Town by charter snap. It’s funny because it’s [gunshot, Gabe’s body falls to the floor.]