Friday Fight: Should Kevin Smith Even Be Allowed To Exist?

gabe: you like Kevin smith?
lindsay: i like him as a person
lindsay: but I hate his movies
gabe: what?
lindsay: like the artist but hate the art
gabe: i’m pretty sure the typical argument is you like the art but hate the artist
gabe: who loves the artist but hates the art?

lindsay: I think his story is a cool story and I think he seems like an interesting and nice person
lindsay: Like, I want him to succeed and keep making movies.
lindsay: I just don’t want to see them
lindsay: because I HATE them. HATE.
gabe: i don’t really understand the argument of wanting him to keep getting to make terrible movies?
gabe: i don’t want him to be bodily injured
gabe: but i don’t see what the point is of funding garbage
lindsay: Well, it’s like he makes movies for another demographic.
lindsay: Like kids
lindsay: I’m not a kid, but I understand there need to be kid movies.
lindsay: just as long as nobody I know likes his movies or makes me watch them.
gabe: i feel like we get in the same argument a lot
gabe: which is you defend mediocrity as needing to exist and deserving to exist
gabe: like, i understand how the world works, and that most things are going to be horrible
gabe: but that doesn’t mean it has to be that way
gabe: or should be that way
lindsay: Maybe I just keep hoping that he’ll do something good?
lindsay: Not that I’ll see it
lindsay: but that someone I trust will say “No, really, it’s good, there’s finally a reason why he gets to make movies. Everything is okay now.”
gabe: i think that kevin smith should have to always mkae his movies on a shoestring budget
gabe: like with clerks
gabe: and he should be forced with every movie to try and scrounge up distribution via word of mouth
gabe: he should ahve to prove himself every time
gabe: because the only reason clerks did as well as it did was because it stood as a beacon of hope to dejected film students
gabe: and that is totally fair
gabe: i can respect that
lindsay: YES
gabe: it’s as good a reason as any
lindsay: can I agree?
lindsay: I agree with that
gabe: yes
lindsay: he should have to max out his credit cards
lindsay: and sell his car
lindsay: that would be a great stunt anyway
gabe: i feel like he’s just bouyed on every project by this mythology
gabe: him and Robert Rodriguez

gabe: great, you fucking gave blood to make your movie, that’s wonderful
gabe: now that you have all the money you didn’t have last time WHY NOT MAKE A GOOD MOVIE
lindsay: hahaha
lindsay: I totally agree with this
lindsay: STRONGLY
lindsay: I think they’re just getting lazy
gabe: and neither of them has made a good movie since
lindsay: I think maybe because they think of themselves as auteurs, and as people who got where they are purely on merit, they think they deserve to have total control over their movies that most directors don’t have. And it’s given to them.
gabe: you know that he does a lecture series, right?
lindsay: I don’t know if I knew he has a lecture series
gabe: he will just go somewhere and talk and charge 30-100 dollars for a ticket
gabe: example
lindsay: aww
gabe: what aww?
lindsay: aww for the lives of the people who buy those tickets.
gabe: hahahaha
gabe: the thing that’s really weird with kevin smith is that you don’t get any sense of movement with him
gabe: like he’s never trying to do better than he did before
gabe: he’s been treading water for 14 years
lindsay: Yeah, and on the one hand that’s bad.
lindsay: But if you compare him to one of those celebrities who is constantly clawing to the point where you’re like “Don’t you have enough money? Just go live your life.” he seems almost healthy not growing as an artist.
lindsay: Like maybe he just has a really great life with his kid or whatever
lindsay: and his wife and his friends
lindsay: maybe he just makes a shitty movie every few years
gabe: i’m sure he has a great life
gabe: i don’t understand your point though
gabe: you think that kevin smith makes bad movies because he’s humble?
lindsay: Well in his case maybe he accepts his limitations
lindsay: I’m just trying to think of the Best Possible Universe In Which Kevin Smith Is Still Allowed To Make Movies
lindsay: I’m not talking about people with talent
lindsay: I’m talking about, like, britney spears
gabe: she has talent
gabe: she has more talent than kevin smith
lindsay: well okay
lindsay: bad example
lindsay: but I don’t think there are a lot of people out there who were born with the ability to write and direct good movies who are not able to do so because of Kevin Smith
gabe: i think that is half fair
gabe: you get one half of a point
lindsay: I was going to say that maybe someone else should write KS movies
lindsay: but then they’re even worse
gabe: because he gets such great performances?
gabe: you don’t want to lose his magic touch with actors?

gabe: i think that there is actually a very limited pool of money for making movies that will actually be shown in theaters
gabe: so while i think you might be right that kevin smith isn’t single-handedly keeping a bunch of super great artists out
gabe: he still gets millions of dollars to make movies
lindsay: Have you ever seen a student thesis film?
gabe: yes
lindsay: They’re terrible

gabe: Yes many of them are terrible
lindsay: Yeah, actually, they’re similar
gabe: the argument that there are lots of people who make bad films
gabe: as a reason for why kevin smith should be allowed to make more bad films
gabe: is sad
gabe: makes me sad
lindsay: I think the argument here is that Kevin Smith maybe COULD be good if people said no to him
lindsay: Like if he had to have a co-director
lindsay: a minder
gabe: haha
lindsay: like a celebrity drug minder, but for terrible shitty dialog
gabe: someone to pick out his hockey jerseys

lindsay: You know, I really want him to make a good movie.
gabe: this is why george bush got elected
gabe: because he seemed nice enough
lindsay: I want that.
lindsay: Like, Elizabeth Banks and Seth Rogen have a lot of choices.
lindsay: Why would they choose this if it isn’t good?
gabe: i really don’t think either of those actors are beyond making mistakes
gabe: it’s not like they’re unquestionable in their choices
gabe: seriosuly, though
gabe: Kevin Smith is the George Bush of movies
gabe: he is the director people want to have a beer with
lindsay: yes
gabe: and this movie
gabe: is his hurricane Katrina
lindsay: I hope Kevin Smith doesn’t read this. I want him to have a good weekend.
gabe: kevin smith is your boyfriend