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Top Chef: Will No One Decapitate Spike?

I’m sure that I’m not alone in thoroughly disliking Spike from this season’s Top Chef. From his inexplicable cockiness around far more talented chefs (Andrew, Dale, and of course, The Blaise), to his clearly pre-meditated decision to be “the hat guy,” he’s the worst. But last night he became The Worst. After winning the Quickfire Challenge with his steak salad that he claimed “would make people want to have sex after they eat this steak salad” he was given the advantage for the Elimination Challenge of having 10 extra minutes to shop, and whatever he chose would be off-limits to the other contestants. But instead of having confidence in his own ability, he picked things just to be a saboteur.

This man must be thrown under a bus. I know the public transportation system in Chicago is not the world’s finest, but surely there must be a bus somewhere. Or the Ravenswood line. Look, I’m all for healthy competition and using your advantage to succeed, but I also believe in the warrior’s code, and this unshaven clown is unfit to enter the ring. If Top Chef was Highlander, Spike would be standing there with his sword in the underground parking lot, and Christopher Lambert would be like “you know what, it turns out there can be two Highlanders, because no one wants to absorb your power.”

Highlander reference, guys. We’re doing great.