Michelle Trachtenberg Is The New Gossip Girl, Indeed

You guys, we don’t really run celebrity gossip on this site, which I think is a PLUS for the American SOUL, but I’m sorry, I can’t let this item from the New York Post go unposted:

MICHELLE Trachtenberg , the new villainess on “Gossip Girl,” full-on fainted Tuesday night in the middle of the party she was hosting at the new Sunglass Hut store in SoHo. Like some Victorian heroine with the vapors, the lush-lipped actress, in a glamorous Diane von Furstenberg dress, swooned at 8 p.m., but gamely partied on until the bash ended an hour later. In fact, she was seen later, much later, at 1Oak.

You can probably ignore the rest of the site for today (please don’t ignore the rest of the site for today) because absolutely nothing will be funnier than someone passing out in the middle of the party they were hosting at THE SUNGLASS HUT. Seriously. If you look up LOL in the dictionary it has a picture of Michelle Trachtenberg lying on the floor of a Sunglass Hut asleep with a party going on all around her. That’s right, a party in a Sunglass Hut. I don’t even know who Michelle Trachtenberg is, but I can say this to the lush-lipped actress: you are on my radar NOW. Congratulations. The only place more embarrassing to throw a party, not to mention fainting in the middle of said party, is either inside a Lids, or a black-tie dinner party catered by the local shopping mall’s Panda Express.

Just kidding, nothing is more embarrassing.