The Hills: Even Gollum Was Once Smeagol

Here is a clip from the season finale of The Hills. SPOILER ALERT you’re welcome.

Did they shoot this on a Walkman? You can always tell when it’s getting “real” on this show because it suddenly stops looking like a movie about pretty robots taking over a planet made of candy.

If you had told me just two months ago that somehow The Hills would transform Spencer into a sympathetic character, I would have laughed until cinnamon soy half-caf macchiato came out my nose. But they did it, they fucking did it. In this clip alone he has traveled for the second time to a foreign land to get his girlfriend back, which say what you will about creepiness and boundary issues, is nevertheless the romantic gesture many people wish they had in their life, and if it means keeping these two monsters from ruining other lives with their fetid attempts at emotional connection via mutually assured destruction, then I am all for it. But not only that, Heidi throws the break up in his face, AGAIN, when she was the one who wanted space. Look, Spencer is the modern Ephialtes, but if we’ve learned nothing from the movie 300 (trust me, we have learned nothing), it’s that even Ephialtes deserves our pity.