The X-Files 2 Trailer They Want You To See

The trailer for the new X-Files movie, guys:

Huh. I’m pretty sure the trailer for the A&E mini-series remake of The Andromeda Strain looks more exciting than this, and I know how The Andromeda Strain ends (SPOILER ALERT if you look up “deus ex machina” in the dictionary, there’s a picture of The Andromeda Strain). I just can’t seem to get excited for what looks like a combination of Never Cry Wolf and every serial-killer-kidnaps-a-woman movie ever. Also, no offense nerds but that whistling theme just falls flat. It was cool in the ’90s, but now I just feel like I’m about to watch an eight-hour Argentinian telenovela about a woman who loses everything only to discover herself.