Videogum

Friday Fight: Who Should Win “Best Kiss” In The MTV Movie Awards?

lindsay: enchanted is the best kiss
gabe: ew
gabe: your favorite kiss is when he kisses a dead woman
gabe: that’s what you think kissing is
lindsay: The woman is supposed to not move at all, right?
lindsay: I read that in my sex manual
lindsay: “Just Lie There”
lindsay: By Kathie Lee Gifford
gabe: you’re supposed to lie in a coffin
gabe: because that’s what guys like
gabe: you’re supposed to lie in a satin coffin

lindsay: well juno is more realistic
gabe: that’s why it’s dumb
gabe: who wants to watch real people kissing, it’s boring
lindsay: “want to make out?” “yeah”
lindsay: that is TRUE LIFE!

gabe: i can kiss badly in real life
gabe: i don’t need to see it
lindsay: i can’t
gabe: i think that the best kiss, obviously, is step up 2 the streets
lindsay: No WAY
lindsay: that is the worst
gabe: it’s in the rain and everyone is dancing
lindsay: I feel really strongly
gabe: it’s a movie kiss

lindsay: it’s like hip hop, it doesn’t build
lindsay: no climax
gabe: careful
gabe: careful lindsay
gabe: have you noticed that the music is really weird behind all these kisses?
gabe: MTV added this music themselves
gabe: check out the harry potter music

gabe: that might actually be the best kiss based on the music
lindsay: hahaha
lindsay: it’s like porn music
gabe: not like
gabe: it is porn music
lindsay: Well you’re the porn enthusiast
lindsay: I’ve literally not seen porn in like five years
gabe: i have a lot of enthusiasm for it
gabe: all of these kisses are flawed EXCEPT for step up 2 the streets
gabe: it’s the only good one
lindsay: The only reason you think this is the best is because the music sucks the least
gabe: let’s go down the list
gabe: Enchanted
gabe: she is dead and lying in a coffin
gabe: Disturbia
gabe: no
gabe: Juno
gabe: boring nerds
gabe: and Harry Potter is HARRY POTTER
gabe: they’re all flawed
gabe: Step Up 2 The Streets, son
lindsay: I don’t even really want to watch harry potter for the purpose of this fight
lindsay: I kind of shielded my eyes and just listened to the porn music
gabe: you shielded your eyes?
gabe: haha
lindsay: my story doesn’t hold up
lindsay: I shielded them with this im window
gabe: i kind of shielded my eyes and just listened to the porn music sounds like your book about the year you spent taking a holiday from your life
lindsay: is patrick dempsey jewish?
lindsay: maybe that’s why I like it
gabe: wow, no
gabe: what?
lindsay: OH I KNOW
lindsay: I know why I like that one
lindsay: it’s the only one with ADULTS kissing
gabe: every week you try and pull this adult bullshit
gabe: get off your old horse
lindsay: so our choices are children kissing each other or necrophilia
gabe: teenagers kissing is normal
gabe: i know that your expeirence was differernt
gabe: but i’m just telling you
gabe: so that you know
lindsay: yeah but it doesn’t do anything for me
gabe: you wnated this to DO SOMETHING for you?
lindsay: whereas the enchanted one I’ve bookmarked
lindsay: jk
lindsay: gross
lindsay: I was kidding but gross
gabe: seriously, none of these should be doing anything for you
lindsay: Patrick Dempsey is mcdreamy!
gabe: i also like how you picked the one that’s two adults kissing, but in a mvoie for little children
gabe: because you’re so mature
lindsay: well, step up 2 just looks like bad technique
gabe: they’re tired from all the dancing
gabe: also, it looks like the same technique as all the other kisses
gabe: with the exception of the guy kissing a dead woman which is your favorite
gabe: that is what you consider good technique
lindsay: It’s magical!
lindsay: I like how they cut away in the harry potter one
lindsay: like “we can’t even show you what happened next”
gabe: well, it’s for children you monster
lindsay: (TONGUE!)
gabe: you watched that and thought MORE TONGUE PLEASE
gabe: you are a creep, and you should go to jail
lindsay: is that a michael cera HARD ON?
gabe: lindsay
lindsay: Poor MC
gabe: you’re a mess
lindsay: to have to do that scene with those shorts
lindsay: he was probably like “She’s a lesbian she’s a lesbian she’s a lesbian” the whole time
lindsay: oh wait, that wouldn’t work?
haha
gabe: no
lindsay: Step up 2 has face-holding
lindsay: no real high school guy would kiss a girl in a club and hold her face like that
lindsay: they TOLD HIM to do that
gabe: you are right, it’s so much more contrived than ENCHANTED
gabe: i’m sorry that you don’t understand what good kissing looks like
gabe: i know that after this fight is over, you will still be the one losing
lindsay: So you are saying you’re the expert on watching other people kiss.
lindsay: Just to make sure
gabe: i am saying that i am the expert on knowing that a good movie kiss is in the rain after a dance competition
gabe: not in a satin coffin
gabe: and also an expert in knowing that enchanted is for children
lindsay: there is nothing childlike in believing that true love can bring a magical princess back to life
gabe: you are going to have so many cats when you grow up