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Cash Gets In Jessica Alba’s Eyes

In order to help promote her boyfriend Cash Warren’s new startup venture, IBeatYou, Jessica Alba is competing in an online staring competition? And wins?

(via People)

This offers so many more questions than answers. The most important question being, of course, wait, whuuuuuut? It’s weird when celebrities interact with human beings because you find out stuff like that they’re surprisingly adept at talking shit while casually name-dropping people’s on-line avatar monikers. I also like that Jessica Alba walks in and sweeps the staring contest. Because, you know, it’s time to put the people in the internet back in their place. They’ve had a free ride for too long. Yes, Alba’s winning the real world games of financial success and physical attractiveness, but that doesn’t mean she can’t still take away the one thing you thought you had. You’re going down Marshon, indeed.

Read more about why Jessica Alba is doing great and how being famous is awesome at her MySpace Celebrity Blog. (Apparently that’s a special type of blog. Every time you write a post you get a gift bag worth $15,000.)