lindsay: The first time I saw the trailer for Iron Man I thought it was a joke
lindsay: I thought iron man was going to be like 3 kings
lindsay: I thought it was about the war
gabe: had you ever heard of iron man?
gabe: had you ever heard of spiderman?
lindsay: The first trailer premiered at comic con last year though or something
gabe: you were at comicon?
lindsay: no, but it was released then
gabe: you were just catching up with your favorite comicon blogs
gabe: you’re like “i don’t know what any of the stuff they’re talking about is, i just love comicon”
lindsay: I wrote about it for work
gabe: your thought process in that post is so weird
gabe: i don’t think anyone thought any of that that except you
lindsay: I stand completely behind that
gabe: A PSYCHOLOGICAL THRILLER BASED ON A PLAY?
lindsay: watching this, if you don’t know it’s going to be for a superhero movie, it’s very comical and absurd
gabe: superhero movies are comical and absurd
lindsay: if you think it’s a satire about the iraq war
lindsay: you’re like “what is he making in the cave?”
gabe: sure, except that it isn’t a satire about the iraq war
gabe: and it’s definitely not a PSYCHOLOGICAL THRILLER BASED ON A PLAy
gabe: i think that superhero movies are basically the male equivalent — to make huge generalizations — of shit like sex and the city
gabe: romantic comedies and superhero movies are two sides of the same coin
gabe: they fulfill the same purpose
lindsay: What I don’t like about superhero movies is the fact that the stakes are so low
gabe: IS THE FATE OF THE WORLD A LOW STAKE?
gabe: the stakes aren’t low in romantic comedies?
gabe: has a romantic comedy ever turned out with the couple not getting together?
lindsay: yes, The Break Up
lindsay: I loved it
gabe: i don’t think that the stakes are what people care about
lindsay: and I absolutely hate in superhero movies where they show the news
gabe: yeah, i don’t think anyone likes when they show the news
gabe: in any movie
lindsay: and everyone accepts that there’s this one guy in a costume who we really need right now to help us
gabe: if we wanted to be bored by the news, we would watch it at home
lindsay: and where is he?
gabe: well, they have to establish the reality somehow
gabe: like when we all prtend that carrie bradshaw is attractive
gabe: my favorite part of superhero movies are the origin sequences
gabe: like, when a character gets his powers
gabe: or as in batman when he goes and trains in the mountains
lindsay: I mean, nobody loved Batman more in 1989 than 13 year old Lindsay
lindsay: I had batman earrings, shorts, socks, shoelaces
lindsay: I introduced myself to people by saying “Hey, I’m Lindsay. Do you like Batman?”
gabe: you were the ultimate fan when it came to Hot Topic’s batman aisle
lindsay: for real
gabe: you ruled
lindsay: I saw it a ridiculous number of times in the theater
lindsay: I don’t remember the number but it was like 12, and I would tell everyone that. I would update them on how many times.
gabe: so what happened?
lindsay: PUBERTY HAPPENED.
lindsay: The changes in your brain that make you unable to connect emotionally to a movie about a rich guy in a costume who saves the world.
gabe: who wants to connect emotionally?
lindsay: Oh come on!!
gabe: i want to punch people through cement walls
gabe: and because i cant
lindsay: You think grown men wouldn’t be SO EXCITED for this movie if they didn’t connect emotionally?
gabe: i want to see someone else do it
gabe: i think they do connect emotionally
lindsay: Does Iron Man even HAVE a superpower?
gabe: no, he’s more like batman
lindsay: or just a suit?
gabe: he’s a billionaire who uses his money and privilege to develop himself into something
gabe: that poor people could never hope to be
lindsay: I mean, superhero movies and SATC are aspirational
lindsay: they’re more about “I wish that was me” than about storytelling
gabe: do you think that movies generated for women that are unrealistic depictions of idealized romance, etc
lindsay: unfortunately, they’re mostly about shoes and diamonds
gabe: are less infantile?
gabe: and i am not conceding that superhero stuff is infantile either but that is your contention
lindsay: I think that with superhero movies and with SATC, it’s not about the actual movie
lindsay:it’s about having something in your life to identify with and be excited about
gabe: oh, that’s not true
gabe: superhero movies it’s all about the movie
gabe: in both instances actually
gabe: i mean, if the movie sucsk everyone is disappointed it’s not like the dream lives on because of its symbolism
lindsay: yeah, but I don’t think anyone will be disappointed with either of these movies
gabe: not these but people were disappointed in previous superhero movies for sure so the generalization doesn’t work
lindsay: yeah, true
gabe: So, do you think that the romance movies are less juvenlie?
lindsay: no, but the ones I like are
lindsay: but they’re darker
gabe: like what?
lindsay: like the break up or my best friend’s wedding. they don’t have happy endings.
gabe: i agree that any genre whose rules make it impossible for things to not turn out for the best are frustrating
gabe: although the one thing that superhero movies do is they never rest
gabe: there is no eternal peace. every time a villain is stopped, thre’s another one to take its place
gabe: which is actually a pretty unhappy world view
lindsay: I think it would be cooler if superhero movies didn’t try SO HARD to take place in the exact world that exists when they’re made
gabe: unlike the success of a romatnic comedy that promises a lifetime of contentment
lindsay: like this one, with the troops in the desert
gabe: you don’t like that a movie tries to speak to the relevant issues of the time in which its made?
lindsay: I think it’s easier to believe the things they ask of you if you can just place it all in a different world
lindsay: if it can be like a fable
lindsay: I guess a comic book nerd would jump in here and say “you like sci/fi fantasy rather than superhero stuff”
gabe: people dont’ really want to cut ties with reality
gabe: superheroes are a reaction to the real world
gabe: and the powerlessness that people feel in the face of huge, horrible things
lindsay: Well then where is the 9/11 superhero movie?
gabe: there have been superhero comics about 9/11 absolutely
gabe: but no one wants to actually see a movie based on that
gabe: it’s too painful and close to the bone
gabe: it’s macabre
gabe: if it’s illustrated there’s a distance
gabe: i want to see a romanitc comedy about 9/11
lindsay: I’m sure that one is in the works
gabe: it would be called P.S. I Love 9/11
gabe: it would be called Must Love Dogs, Hate Terrorism
lindsay: Something’s Gotta Give (Tower 1)
gabe: My Best Friend’s WEdding Was Tragically Canceled
gabe: we could do this all day and lose all of our readers
gabe: and we should
lindsay: How To Lose A Guy In 183 Minutes
gabe: i’m laughing becuse it hurts
gabe: and is funny
gabe: The 10 Things I Hit With A Plane About You
lindsay: Failure To Launch
gabe: too far, lindsay
gabe: too far