So, Miley Cyrus Thinks She Can Dance

You know what, i don’t even know who Miley Cyrus is. Because I’m not 12 years old. I mean, I know that she is the daughter of Billy Ray Cyrus, and I know that she has a show on Disney called Hannah Montana, and I know that she makes children so excited that their candy brains erupt out of their chocolate heads. And I know that she is in a magazine, and looks like Jack White, but all of those are useless facts. It’s like saying I know that Tony Jaa is foreign and that he was in a movie, without knowing about this.

Still, even without knowing anything, I’m pretty sure she is the best. Because of this:

Man, that looks great. Seriously. It’s like Rize meets The Postal Service. April 30th. 9PM. I don’t really understand what that part means. Am I supposed to log on to YouTube at that time? Could one of you babies help me turn this danged thing on. There’s a hard candy in it for you.