“Worst Porn Intro Ever” Is Possibly Also The Best Porn Intro Ever

My experience with porn intros is basically limited to the cliche about the pizza delivery guy and multiple viewings of the movie Boogie Nights, but if you want to tell me that most opening set-ups for adult films are more natural and less completely absurd than this Canadian one from what appears to be the ’80s, I’ll believe you (it’s just an intro, so it’s actually safe for work). It starts out with an excellent example of why expository dialog should be banned from all films, even porn, but stay with it because there’s going to be a BIG SNAKE:

My first reaction to this was “that is not a garter snake,” and then I actually looked it up on wikipedia to make sure, because I’m a nerd who doesn’t watch porn.