Andy Rooney Says What No One Else Is Ever Thinking

Have you ever noticed how Andy Rooney is old and kind of nonsensical. I do love his powerful essay about how he has four different cheese cutters in his kitchen because his wife keeps buying cheese cutters, a topic that is on the minds of all Americans, and who doesn’t love his impressively jingoistic rant about how all the Presidential candidates have weird names that aren’t like the names of his youth (for example, Abraham Lincoln, who was elected president on Rooney’s 45th birthday).

ANYWAY, Joe Mande has a fun YouTube game in which you keep the first and last sentences of Andy Rooney’s monologue and edit out the middle.

What’s funny is that I’m pretty sure none of the stuff that got deleted even had anything to do with travel. It was mostly about how he doesn’t like drinking water that’s too cold, and how sometimes sweaters are soft, and sometimes they are scratchy. Andy Rooney really has his finger on the pulse. I wish he was my dad’s dad.