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Connor Cruise Wastes His Nepotistic Potential

A lot of people are talking about how Connor Cruise, adopted son of Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman, has landed his first role (non-speaking) in an upcoming Will Smith movie. The consensus seems to be that this is a textbook case of rampant nepotism, the likes of which will ruin Hollywood, and possibly even ruin the upcoming Will Smith movie (IMPOSSIBLE, it’s being directed by the guy who did The Pursuit of Happyness, so obviously it will be great [KILL ME]).

Personally, I don’t have a problem with it. Connor Cruise has a NON-SPEAKING role. Also, it’s a WILL SMITH DRAMA. With co-star WOODY HARRELSON. That’s like someone complaining that you pooped in their toilet. THAT IS WHAT TOILETS ARE FOR. (In this metaphor, the toilet is the new Will Smith movie, and the poop is Connor Cruise, just in case that wasn’t clear.)

Also, Connor Cruise is 13-years-old, and he’s just starting to cash in his nepotism chips? What was he waiting for? His Scientology Bar Mitzvah?