The First Rule Of Paradise Hotel Club Is You Don’t Understand Paradise Hotel Club

It’s hard to explain to someone who’s never watched Paradise Hotel 2 why it’s such a great show (it is the worst show). The main reason is that the rules always change. You can picture the producers sitting in a room shooting garbage hoops trying to come up with “stunning twists” and “shocking surprises.” Nothing is ever that stunning or shocking, but it’s definitely unpredictable and mildly retarded. Last night’s elimination ceremony was the perfect example of some classic Paradise Hotel mindfuckery. I really don’t think you need to have ever watched the show to understand how ridiculous this is.

All those sweaty guys are Lindsay’s boyfriend. Clearly, the best part is when James speaks for the entire world.

Amanda Byram: Now when I said that you had won a very special prize this evening at the poker tournament, you didn’t think it was just immunity did you?
The Whole World: I kinda did. [long confused pause]

Oh Paradise Hotel 2, will the wonders confusion never cease? (Four weeks until the confusion ceases.)