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The 5 Michael Jackson Impersonators Who Should Have Been In Mister Lonely

I’m excited for Harmony Korine’s Mr. Lonely. After everyone’s favorite After School Special about ecstasy-fueled rape, Kids, I had every expectation of hating anything Harmony Korine ever touched, but I had to admit that Gummo was one of the best movies of the ’90s. So good. Julien Donkey-Boy I could take or leave, but Werner Herzog drinking cough syrup out of a slipper is worth the price of admission (if you were able to find a theater actually showing it. Zing?). But now it looks like Korine’s dropping some of his the-Bam-Margera-of-film-directing* tendencies, and moving towards an extraordinarily odd but also thoughtful form of storytelling. Great news. His new film, Mr. Lonely, focuses on a commune of celebrity impersonators. Trailer:

And now, I’m going to do the classic blogger trick of praising a movie and then completely missing the point (an introspective look into how people struggle with identity and the need for acceptance) by posting a superficially related Top 5 List of Michael Jackson Impersonators. BLOGGING!

Paul Rizzo

I’m pretty sure this is actually a deleted scene from Napoleon Dynamite. In the director’s cut, Paul Rizzo wins, and Napoleon goes home and kills himself.

This Kid

No fucking around. Why waste time with putting on costumes and white face, let’s just get to it.

Belgian Michael Jackson

This guy…oh man. I don’t even think he understands English. He’s great. It’s like if the world remembered that Ewen McGregor can’t act and he had to go back to what he truly loved, being a Belgian dude in a terrible hat impersonating Michael Jackson on the radio.

Midget Michael Jackson

He nailed it. If Michael Jackson was a midget he would be just like that. Little Michael Jackson can also be seen in a great series of internet videos with Dave Hill.

Bollywood Michael Jackson

9 million views. Your mom has seen that. She loves it.

*I had a friend of a friend who supposedly hung out with Harmony Korine (doubt it, I’m probably a liar and don’t even have any friends), and my favorite apocryphal story was that after Donkey-Boy, Harmony Korine got too into drugs and ended up burning his house in Connecticut to the ground, and the only possession he had left was a Polaroid of himself smoking crack with Ol’ Dirty Bastard. Even if it’s not true (it can’t be true), it is the best.