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Hillary Clinton And Barack Obama Are Fake Laughing For President

Did you know that we need a new president? I mean, we don’t need one. The one we have is great! I wish he was my dad and/or Permanent President Forever. But apparently some brainiac in Washington says that we can only have a President for 8 years even if he’s doing the most amazing job anyone has ever seen and is just crushing it on the leadership skills and killing it on wise geopolitcal strategy.

Last night on the Colbert Report, we learned for the first time who you could vote for. Hillary Clinton:

Or this television screen:

You know, none of the candidates has really demonstrated the things I need to see as a voter to make my decision. Like I don’t even know who’s best at pogs, or which of them can eat a submarine sandwich the fastest, or how long they can hold their breath underwater. You know, President stuff. We (America) should probably hold some kind of New President Block Party or something and just settle this thing.