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The Spencer Pratt Show: Bizarro Alterverse

Now that we’ve cut the shit about pretending like watching The Hills validates our over-priced college educations, it’s nice to just be able to fast forward all the salad eating (Is there more salad eating in this season than ever before? This show should be called Nightclubs and Salads) and go right to the meat of it, which is Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag’s silly shadow play of a melodramatic romance. But, um, you guys, something really weird happened in last night’s episode. Spencer Pratt, who once threatened to beat up one of Heidi’s co-workers ON CAMERA at a smoothie store (including the best sentence, “This is LA, bro, you can’t just call someone a tool”), actually made sense last night. Like, I was on his side. Heidi needs to take her alien face back to Plastic Planet and stop PLAYING GAMEZ.

I’m sure Spencer will go back to making people make themselves cry next week, because I don’t need this empathy.