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Well, This Didn’t Happen: Step It Up And Dance

We’re all pretty well-versed in the fakeries of reality TV at this point. We know that’s not the Bachelor’s real house. And no one is fooled by New York’s hair/inflatable body. That being said, every once in awhile something happens on a reality show that just straight up didn’t happen.

Last night was the premiere of Bravo’s new show, Who Is The Gayest? Step It Up And Dance. On their first night all together in the designer motel, the contestants “hit the club” for a champagne jam. As one of the contestants will tell you, people just started “freestyling,” which I’m pretty sure is another word for “dancing”. Who goes to the club and is like “Ah, the perfect opportunity to perform my strictly timed choreography from the Broadway musical, Avenue Q“? Obviously, if anyone actually did that, they would be rushed to the casting directors of this show, so fair enough: freestyling it is. But right when they were having so much fun, Elizabeth “I’m Gonna Win” Berkeley shut the music off for a big surprise!

Whoops, you mean this super cool, popular dance club has been filled with extras the whole time? Joke’s on me! NO. FUCKING. WAY. There are, like, ten extras in there. I’m pretty sure every contestant on the show walked in and was like “This club sucks,” and the producers were like “Dance for us sad, ambitiously-confused monkeys!” What is the prize at the end of this show, anyway? You get to be in the background of a Spice Girls video or something? I’m pretty sure you could get that job more easily. Just slip Geri Halliwell a box of Fosomax.