Top Chef: Dale Packs His Nuts And Stays

If you missed the show last night, then you missed one of the best perennial Quickfire Challenges of each season: the blindfold taste test. The whole thing is a giant THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID. Padma blindfolds each contestant and then they have to decide which of the things she puts in their mouth is bigger (in price). Women seemed to be better at the challenge than men, except for Ryan, who says in the teaser for next week “Do I look like I like sports? No, I don’t like sports.” So, draw your own conclusions.

But that’s not the clip we have to talk about. The clip we have to talk about is the post-elimination FIGHT that happened in the elimination broom closet. SPOILER ALERT: this clip happened after elimination, HINT HINT. I’m going to spoil the surprise I mean.

I don’t know how many times I can keep doing this but SPOILER ALERT Zoi. She’s out. And her girlfriend Richard Jennifer is pissed. Personally, there are still way too many chefs on this show for me to put too much investment in anyone (although I called Andrew a cab, so he should probably pack his knives because it’s waiting out front and the meter is running.) Like, I understand that Richard Jennifer is pissed about her lover and stuff, but then the fight just gets really confusing because I don’t know why it’s obvious that Zoi shouldn’t have gone home and Spike should? But then someone kicks a chair over and Dale GRABS HIS NUTS, which, to quote my roommate, “Wait, people actually grab their nuts when they’re yelling at you?” And everyone is so mad. It’s so great.

As a side-note, CONGRATULATIONS to Bravo for being brave enough to bring a lesbian couple onto the show, but still lacking the courage to let them kiss each other goodbye on camera. That’s fine. I’m sure they kiss on the cheek anyway. That’s what makes you a lesbian, right? That you love to kiss girls on the cheek before you go home to your boyfriend.