Bobby Flay Would Like To Teach You How To Embarrass Yourself On TV

From the mailbox:

Clueless in the Kitchen? learn to cook with bobby flay! Single and can’t cook a meal for one? Frustrated because you don’t know how to pack a nutritious lunchbox for your kids? Forgo paying for culinary school and learn the basics in two weeks with Bobby Flay’s “Real Food Cooking School.”

Impress us with your wit and your lack of food knowledge… Bobby Flay is ready to school you as only an Iron Chef can! You’ll learn the basics of grilling, sautéing, knife skills, how to make simple, nutritious meals from real foods…and so much more!

If you’re feisty and eager to step up your cooking skills: make us a 3-minute VHS tape or DVD telling us your worst cooking story, the most horrible meal you ever cooked, and why you should be a part of Bobby Flay’s “Real Food Cooking School.” Worried? Don’t be – you’ll be having too much fun! Remember…have a family member, best friend or spouse make an appearance on your tape – a little testimonial, “Oh my god, she regularly burns the bottom of the sauce pan!” goes a long way.

All applicants should live in the United States, be over the age of 18, and be available April 15-30th for filming in New York City.
Please mail tapes by March 22nd to:
ATT: Real Food Cooking School
110 Leroy Street
New York, NY 10014
Questions? Email us at [email protected]

“Oh my god, she regularly burns the bottom of the sauce pan.” Haha. So regularly. How often would you say she does that? Oh, regularly. You know. I would say it is on a very regular basis that she burns the bottom of the saucepan.

You guys, you should do this. Bobby Flay is a good cook, and he’s not Rocco Dispirito so he won’t try and date rape you. And even if he does, you’ll be like “You guys, I have something horrible to share with you, I was date raped by Bobby Flay,” and everyone will be like “Oh my God, that’s horrible. Is he the one that was on that stupid show, The Restaurant?” and you will say “Ew, no!”

Just make sure you’re a really horrible cook, though. Like, really bad. Because this show is not just about making you a better cook, it’s also about making other people feel good that they’re not you.

Actually, never mind. Don’t waste your time. I’ve already turned in my audition video and it’s going to crush.

I am the worst chef!