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Put Your Smelly Hands Together For Grand Theft Auto IV

I got this in the mail today. It’s a promotional item for Grand Theft Auto IV, which comes out April 29th. It looks like one of those “We’re #1″ foam hands that you would wear to an athletic sporting game, but the fingers are arranged in such a way as to simulate a sexual encounter in which some fingers go in the one place and the other finger goes in another place (butt). My first thought was “Gross, Grand Theft Auto.” My second thought was “Well, but I mean, yeah, no, that figures.” And my third thought was “This is the closest most Grand Theft Auto fans will ever come to anything having to do with physical activity.”

Watch the GTA IV trailer here. Call your mom to ask her what “sex” means here.