Watch Stephen Colbert Mock Ticketmaster’s List Of Concerts Eligible For Ticket Vouchers

Ticketmaster lost the class action lawsuit Schlesinger v. Ticketmaster, and as a result they’re giving away $5 million in free concert tickets. Anyone who purchased tickets from the company between 1999 and 2013 is probably sitting on a number of free ticket vouchers to be used on a selection of events chosen by Ticketmaster — specifically Live Nation events at Live Nation venues. That seemed like pretty good news at first, but when the list of approved concerts was revealed this week, it proved to be just another reason to hate Ticketmaster with every ounce of your being.

Although the vouchers can be used on a handful events by the likes of Bob Dylan, Ryan Adams, Savages, Weezer, and Carcass, mostly it’s big-name country artists, butt-rockers, and a whole lotta tribute bands. Some states are left out entirely because they don’t have a Live Nation venue. As a resident of Columbus, the best I can do is drive three hours to Indianapolis to see Savages on a Thursday night. Ticketmaster basically seems to be unloading passes to events that aren’t selling well. It might be the most passive aggressive thing this company has ever done.

Stephen Colbert caught wind of this debacle and delivered a monologue about it Thursday on The Late Show. It’s not Colbert’s best work, but posting it gives us all a chance to vent our frustrations with this awful company. Watch below, and seriously, fuck Ticketmaster.

Somehow, Ticketmaster has already moved $5 million worth in free tickets this week, and they’re giving away another $5 million as of today. The list hasn’t improved one iota. Those guys are the worst.