Shut Up, Dude: This Week’s Best And Worst Comments

I’m in Helsinki for Flow Festival, but I won’t leave you hanging without your Friday comment party. (It’s 4AM where I am right now, though — you’re welcome.) Scandinavian music festivals are different than the ones we’re used to in some amusing ways. For example, the most attended set today was Massive Attack (they were great). The most popular food choices are curry, coffee, and champagne. Finnish people seem pretty careless about personal space and will just knock you the fuck over on their way to see Stormzy. That part is not so amusing, but he was great too. Also:

Morrissey plays tomorrow unless he cancels. Here are this week’s best and worst comments.

THIS WEEK’S 10 HIGHEST RATED COMMENTS

#10 

Motas Kah | Aug 6th Score:26

He headnods like a whiteguy! LOL! Second coolest president, cause JFK was banging Marilyn Monroe and he died tragically young which is what cool people are supposed to do.

Posted in: Watch Obama Pump Himself Up With Eminem Song Backstage At The DNC
#9  poopslap | Aug 10th Score:26

I’m not here to entertain you at this show where you paid money for me to entertain you.

Posted in: Matisyahu Apologizes For Telling Fan Her Child Is “Ugly As Fuck”
#8  dansolo | Aug 11th Score:27

What, no ANOHNI? Was it something she said?

Posted in: President Obama Listens To Chance The Rapper, Courtney Barnett, Fiona Apple
#6  the loop digga | Aug 5th Score:31

whole foods indie is my new favorite diss

Posted in: “Young Folks” Turns 10
#5  padfoot24 | Aug 5th Score:31

Still the best piece of music to come out today (imso)… SO FAR

Posted in: Grimes Shares Letter About Misinterpretations Of Her Suicide Squad Song
#4 

Jordan Howard | Aug 5th Score:35

Excellent work as always, Michael. This is one of the most fascinating and well-researched pieces I’ve ever read on Stereogum.

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#3  phospholipidbilayer | Aug 5th Score:36

Boys Don’t Cry? More like Boys Don’t Release Their Goddamn Albums In A Timely And Coherent Manner But Rather Choose To Coerce Their Impatient and Lifeless Fans Into Watching A Fucking “Livestream” Of Them Doing Various Carpentry And Welding Related Tasks In The Hope That They Will Get Some Semblance Of A Clue About The Alleged Album’s Release Schedule Which Never Happens But You Don’t Realize It Until You Are Like Three Hours Into The God Damn Stream When You Finally Come To The Motherfucking Realization That You Literally Spent An Eighth Of Your Day (The Number Of Which You Are Granted On This Earth Is Heartbreakingly Finite) Watching Paint Dry And Your Brain Tells You That You Should Hate Him Because His Enigmatic Tease Of New Music (Brilliantly You Concede) Pressured You Into Doing It But Realistically You Can Only Blame Yourself Because Ultimately You Alone Have Agency Over Your Ability To Devote Time To Shit And Besides Your Heart Nevertheless Has An Unwaverinng Passion For His Music And You Consider That The New Album Will Be Worth It When It Comes Anyways Even If The Wait Is Excruciating So You Continue Loving The Boy Regardless am I right? 😂

Posted in: Shut Up, Dude: This Week’s Best And Worst Comments

THIS WEEK’S 5 LOWEST RATED COMMENTS

#5 

Noah Chip | Aug 11th Score:-16

So no I’m not like joking. American Idiot was the Tommy of your generation (I’m 26). The Black Parade was the American Idiot of my early emo phase. Green Day have the ability to do mall punk, sharp focused laser beam pop-punk and cutting social commentary artistic punk opera. Who else tops that? My man in Rancid maybe just not as well. I am just super happy with this song and I’m on board for the revolution! We need rock and roll back on the charts. I love me some crunked out hip hop but rock has been dead. Wake it up to life Green Day like you did in 93 and 04.

Posted in: Green Day – “BANG BANG”
#4 

Noah Chip | Aug 10th Score:-16

Danny Brown is generic with this single man. I like him back with what he used to do but I’m not feeling this or pretty much anything post 2014.

Posted in: Preview Danny Brown’s New Single “Pneumonia”
#3  crackinthepearl | Aug 10th Score:-20

right – the person who responded to an asinine observation of your first hashtag critique EVER!!!! (thanks for the bg info) is the person needing to chill out for rightly pointing out the flaw in logic. thanks bruv, let me know what other internet pointers i can take from your overblown reaction xx

Posted in: The Weeknd Donates To Black Lives Matter, University Of Toronto
#2 

Noah Chip | Aug 11th Score:-21

Funny. Green Day were the saviors of rock with American Idiot and now they sound like they’re going to do it again. They’re one of the best bands going and rock n roll is gonna kick all that hip hop shizzle (except A$sap Ferg-he’s a beast…and maybe early Danny Brown mixed in with some Kanye the genius among men) to the curb. Bring on our Armstrong overlords.

Posted in: Green Day – “BANG BANG”
#1  drummer729 | Aug 11th Score:-24

“Elevator operator” is my fav Courtney song too. Seriously though? He likes these artists or the people responsible for making his iPod that he listens to when he can likes these artists? Because if he has that much time to dig that deep into music. Hey Obama, why don’t you go balance the budget instead!

Posted in: President Obama Listens To Chance The Rapper, Courtney Barnett, Fiona Apple

THIS WEEK’S EDITOR-IN-CHIEF’S CHOICE

  whodunit | Aug 10th Score:15

This is probably what people say when they see him open for 311 these days:

Posted in: Matisyahu Apologizes For Telling Fan Her Child Is “Ugly As Fuck”