Personal note to Oneohtrix Point Never: Hey buddy! We haven’t met. I’m Tom. I want to talk to you about putting Val Kilmer in your music video. It’s fucking awesome that you did that! That guy rules. However. I would like to present you with the idea that you should have Val Kilmer doing things if you put him in your video. For ideas on things that Val Kilmer can do, please consult the movies Heat, Spartan, Tombstone, Real Genius, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, even Top Gun. Those are all great movies, and he didn’t spend any of them sitting on a bed blank-faced while the director did disquieting things with editing and camerawork. You could’ve saved that whole video if you’d just ended it with him throwing a sword up in the air and catching it like in Willow. So just, like, think about that for next time. Your video didn’t make my list of the week’s best. Five other videos did. They’re below.
5. Maggie Rogers – “Alaska” (Dir. Zia Anger)
A pure, distilled hit of corny, sundazed joy.
4. Chance The Rapper – “How Great” (Feat. Jay Electronica) (Dir. ?)
The whole lock-your-iPhone thing is incredibly annoying if you’re watching it on something other than an iPhone, if you’re being forced to turn your laptop screen on its side or whatever. But I can’t watch Chance react to Jay Electronica and not include this thing.
— Lil Chano From 79th (@chancetherapper) October 20, 2016
3. Action Bronson – “Durag Vs. Headband” (Feat. Big Body Bes) (Dir. Tom Gould)
I love envisioning the conversations from whatever production meeting led to this video: “We need a white horse, a flag, a couple of Benzes, an ice cream truck, at least 10 popsicles, and several gallons of fake blood.” I also love the scene of Big Body Bes talking to the horse, which probably moves this video at least one place higher than it otherwise would’ve been.
2. D.R.A.M. – “Cash Machine” (Dir. Lacey Duke)
The girls and the money and the pool are all rap-video boilerplate, but what matters is the tie dye and the tricycle and the miles-wide smile and the bit where D.R.A.M. uses sidewalk chalk to recreate the scene in Big where Tom Hanks and Robert Loggia dance on the giant piano at FAO Schwartz. And all those things matter so much.
1. Honeyblood – “Sea Hearts” (Dir. Thomas James)
This video, about a murderous sea-monster alien girl who shows up at a house party and immediately becomes the most fun person there, is a beautiful reminder that we are now in the Halloween season, the best time of the year for music videos. Next week’s list is going to fucking rule.