Shut Up, Dude: This Week’s Best And Worst Comments

Today’s Shut Up, Dude intro is a concert review because I took my daughter to a concert the other day…

Molly is seven-and-a-half years old and it was her fourth event at Brooklyn’s Barclays Center. At three she saw Frozen On Ice there; at five, Katy Perry; and at six, David Byrne & friends’ Contemporary Color color guard extravaganza, though she fell asleep during How To Dress Well. While she used to be a KatyCat, she now says she’s a Swiftie, even though I told her she doesn’t have to choose sides.

The reason Molly got to stay up past her bedtime on Tuesday is because she’s a fan of singer/songwriter/pony Sia, who was in town on her Nostalgic For The Present Tour. It’s Sia’s first tour in five years and her first of arenas. If those milestones are hard to believe it’s because the pop star has made dozens of appearances at festivals and on TV shows since her summer ’04 mainstream breakthrough. She’s also in constant rotation on pop radio (Molly is partial to SiriusXM Hits 1 in the car and Z100 at bath time). So Sia hasn’t been under the radar — you heard her belt “Chandelier” on Ellen or SNL or Kimmel or GMA or the Grammys, but of course you didn’t see her belt it because Sia hides her face under an oversize wig.

Molly knows Sia wears this wig because “she wants privacy but her face is on some of her album covers so it’s not like a big secret like it is for Daft Punk.” The signature two-tone bob also helps the Aussie hitmaker deal with her major anxiety about performing in public by allowing her to hide in plain sight. The merch booths sold lookalike wigs for $30, so there were hundreds of Sias in the crowd snapping selfies.

Surprisingly there weren’t many kids, and Molly was the youngest person there as far as I could tell. She wasn’t happy about that.

If you’ve seen Sia’s TV appearances you won’t be surprised to learn that shows on this tour are more performance art pieces than traditional concerts, and that celebrities are involved. Over the course of 90 minutes a statue-like Sia (with a humongous white bow perched atop her wig) clutched a mic stand in the shadows, while her 14-year-old Mini Me, Maddie Ziegler, danced manically in the spotlight. Molly takes a modern dance class, but not as modern as whatever Ziegler was doing with her face on “Reaper.”

During opener “Alive” the former Dance Moms star emerged from underneath what looked like the ruffles of Sia’s dress; they were actually the undulating backs of four adult dancers, who later joined the young star throughout the set, often in surrealist costumes. Ziegler got a breather during “Bird Set Free,” when one of the male dancers (dressed in business attire) circled Sia, writhed on the floor, and banged on a desk. The screens above the stage displayed a perfectly synchronized Paul Dano performing the routine in a prerecorded video. Same deal for Kristen Wiig on “One Million Bullets” and Gabby Hoffman, bopping to “Unstoppable” in cartoonishly large jeans.

It was fittingly impersonal for a show in which the billed artist didn’t acknowledge the audience. Molly took in Ryan Heffington’s choreography on the video screen above because everyone in the audience was standing up, blocking her view of the stage. She didn’t complain because kids love screens, but I felt guilty since she didn’t know she wasn’t watching anything live. The music was prerecorded too.

And yet it was compelling because Sia is a powerhouse and her performance was flawless. Beyond the inclusion of hits she wrote for Rihanna and David Guetta, the setlist was all songs from her last two albums save “Soon We’ll Be Found” and the classic TV soundtrack staple “Breathe Me,” which was a reprieve from all the lyrical clichés of Sia’s Hot 100 run. During that song the distraught businessman wore a Stop Making Sense suit and was grasped on his shoulders by giant stuffed hands that looked like angel wings. As with Ziegler’s panda head during “Titanium,” I did’t know what it meant, but it was cool.

We had to leave before “Chandelier.” Molly was tired and we’d already spilled half a cup of ice cream and a full $5 small soda under our seats. I wonder what casual fans made of Sia’s reinvention of the concert experience. At least one audience has sued. But I was impressed and Molly said it was “very good,” which is high praise from her. I asked if in February she’d want to see Ariana Grande, who she likes even more than Sia. She shook her head.

CREDIT: Theo Wargo/Getty Images

THIS WEEK’S 10 HIGHEST RATED COMMENTS

#10 ghostchannels
Score:26 | Oct 27th
I love click bait articles that’s my fuckin problem, and yeah i like to click i gotta fucking problem.
Posted in: Martin Shkreli Promises To Release Unheard Nirvana And Beatles Music If Trump Wins
#9 dansolo
Score:27 | Oct 23rd
I dont know why but I find this kind of endearing. I think it’s a credit to Dan’s work (go team Dan!) that he can wring emotion from even the most shriveled heart.
Posted in: Rush Limbaugh Is Obsessed With Caribou, Caribou Tells Him To Fuck Off
#8 lobster man
Score:28 | Oct 25th
Thank you Kelly. We’ll never need another piece Halloween related music journalism ever again. Pack it up, gang. We’re done here.
I’m terrified.
Posted in: 15 Halloween Songs Rated By Spookiness
#7 Collin Robinson
Score:30 | Oct 25th
Thank you for giving me the perfect opportunity to use this:

“My job is to fight for survival/ In spite of these all-lives-matter-ass white folks” – Killer Mike

Posted in: Justin Timberlake Could Face Jail Time For Voting Booth Selfie
#6 Max the King of All Wild Things
Score:32 | Oct 24th
Nah. We need no other:

 

 

Posted in: Run The Jewels – “Talk To Me”
#5 Chris DeVille
Score:32 | Oct 25th
Crazy that between cheap_suit_jr_jr and KokoBWare this post might have generated the week’s best and worst comments back to back
Posted in: Justin Timberlake Could Face Jail Time For Voting Booth Selfie
#4 muffinman
Score:38 | Oct 22nd
When was it ever fucking safe to run into clowns in the woods?
Posted in: Couple Taking Engagement Photos Encounters Black Metal Band In The Woods
#3 undergroundspoon
Score:39 | Oct 24th
Get your gifs of things on fire ready, everyone!
Posted in: Run The Jewels – “Talk To Me”
#1 cheap_suit_jr_jr
Score:122 | Oct 25th
JT has co-opted many aspects of Black culture over the years, but getting persecuted under some bullshit post-Voting Rights Act law is pretty much the clincher.
Posted in: Justin Timberlake Could Face Jail Time For Voting Booth Selfie

THIS WEEK’S 5 LOWEST RATED COMMENTS

#5

Edna Margarita Perez-Cardona
Score:-11 | Oct 23rd
Something to think about. Parents spend a lifetime educating between right and wrong, and instilling moral values in their children. When children misbehave or do the wrong thing, parents correct and sometimes punish their children. They certainly don’t REWARD them for their bad behavior. This misbehavior is not condoned by parents, it’s certainly not expected in adults, but yet in 2016 it is tolerated by some in presidential candidates.

If you don’t condone it, then why in the world would you vote FOR it? You are sending a CLEAR message that you REWARD criminality, corruption, deception, lies, and vulgarity. Is that what you represent? Is that the kind of leader you want REPRESENTING YOU, your FAMILY, or your COUNTRY? Look in the mirror and ask yourself if this is the kind of example you want to set for your children. The world is watching.

Is this really the BEST that WE as a country can do? Is this really the BEST WE can offer our children’s future? Or have we, based on polls and media manipulation, simply turned the presidency into nothing more than a horse race by simply trying to pick who we think will win? If that is the case, stop and think of what it is you are actually “winning”. More wars, bigger government, higher taxes, larger debt, or simply put, more of the same.

Imagine instead of being stuck with having to choose for the lesser of two evils, of actually having the option of choosing NO EVIL instead. Don’t let FEAR or manipulation choose who you vote for. This election, instead of voting AGAINST someone you despise or find repulsive, vote FOR someone you can be proud of. A wasted vote is voting for someone that you DON’T believe in, or simply not voting at all. Your vote should be about what’s best for, and who represents you, your ideals, and your interests best.

Gary Johnson served as governor in New Mexico, which at the time, was in a state of fiscal ruin and decay. After his two very successful terms, he left the state with new roads, bridges, schools, hospitals, and a BILLION dollar surplus – all without raising taxes one single cent. As a matter of fact, he actually CUT TAXES 14 times! He was a Republican in a heavily Democratic state, who was re-elected in a landslide.

Proven Leadership, A Problem Solver, Painfully Honesty, and Full of Integrity. A president you can be proud of. This election, I am PROUDLY voting for Gary Johnson.

Posted in: Watch Nirvana’s Krist Novoselic Stump For Gary Johnson And Impersonate Bernie Sanders
#4 Noahchip
Score:-28 | Oct 21st
Who would take the time to listen to this let alone write about it?
Posted in: Premature Evaluation: Lady Gaga Joanne
#3 KokoBWare
Score:-29 | Oct 25th
Fight for survival by busting JT for photographing himself in front of a voting machine?
Thank YOU for giving me the laugh, Collin. Go scour the internet for some pics of white people jay-walking – let’s REALLY get them!
Posted in: Justin Timberlake Could Face Jail Time For Voting Booth Selfie
#2

Raymond Cist
Score:-31 | Oct 24th
Anyone who calls Rush a bigot has Never listened to his show. All of the negative press about Rush is invented by the press.
Posted in: Rush Limbaugh Is Obsessed With Caribou, Caribou Tells Him To Fuck Off
#1 KokoBWare
Score:-48 | Oct 25th
Wow think the author has a little bit of #whitenvy? We are all one race, support and love one another. This is a dumb law
Posted in: Justin Timberlake Could Face Jail Time For Voting Booth Selfie

THIS WEEK’S EDITOR-IN-CHIEF’S CHOICE

johnnyfuckhead
Score:23 | Oct 27th
I’m not so sure rock is dead. Just this week I saw some guys walking around in cargo pants.
Posted in: The Who’s Roger Daltrey Says Rock Is Now Dead And Only Rappers Matter
Tags: Sia