Leave Alanis Morissette’s Millions Alone

Hey, did you know Alanis Morissette owns millions of dollars’ worth in jewelry? Or, well, she did. TMZ reports that burglars broke into Morissette’s Brentwood home on Thursday night, when the singer wasn’t home, and made off with more than $2 million worth of jewelry. And this comes after Morissette suffered another big theft.

Last month, the BBC reported that Jonathan Schwartz, who handled Morissette’s finances between 2009 and 2016, admitted to stealing $4.8 million from her — and $2 million from other famous clients — in an effort to “sustain his lavish lifestyle.” Morissette sued Schwartz’s company GSO for $15 million, claiming that Schwartz had moved her money into his accounts without permission, and both parties settled out of court. Schwartz now faces between four and six years in prison if convicted.

In summation: Alanis Morissette is not an ATM machine, you fucking deadbeats! She wrote “You Oughta Know”! She played God in the movie Dogma! She seems like a nice person! Stop fucking with her money!