The internet was a lot less fun this year. With Russian propagandists invading Facebook, neo-Nazis overrunning Twitter, child predators exploiting YouTube comments, ransomware attacking our Gmail, and Eminem infiltrating Tinder, every swipe brought the potential to ruin our day, assuming @realDotardTrump hadn’t ruined it already. Now we’ve got the FCC repealing net neutrality rules: we’ll probably be getting all our news from The Swift Life this time next year.
Meanwhile, if you were in anywhere in public and/or riding in an Uber this year, you were assaulted with Spotify’s most streamed person of 2017, Ed Sheeran. He had a #1 Billboard hit in January, he has another #1 hit this week, and he proved more than anyone that we’re all chained to the algorithm.
Yet Ed Sheeran didn’t make any of the worst songs of 2017 (though “Galway Girl” came close) because we had Jake Paul to make Ed Sheeran look like Phil Elverum. We also had “I’m Not Racist,” and “Take A Knee My Ass,” and “Bad Man” by Pitbull x Robin Thicke x Joe Perry x Travis Barker. And those were the popular recordings! For this list — the worst playlist of 2017 — I suffered through the recesses of today’s streaming platforms and came up with some truly ill-advised “music.”
I’ve disqualified reissues, music-adjacent performance art, anything too obscure, and 15-second memes. I also excluded child rappers (you’re welcome Matt Ox). Cover songs were eligible as were live performances by members of Donald Trump’s personal legal team. This list is unranked, but if you’re looking for the best bad song of 2017 click here.