Shut Up, Dude: This Week’s Best And Worst Comments

Shut Up, Dude: This Week’s Best And Worst Comments


#9  Krillin
Score:43 | Aug 26th

Yeah, no, to be clear, fuck Gret Gutfeld

Posted in: Fox News Airs Tribute To Power Trip’s Riley Gale
#8  BixMeister
Score:53 | Aug 26th

Meanwhile on the Dance/Disco Top 80

Dig if you will this picture. Summer of 1984 in Minneapolis felt like we were living at the center of the universe. 1984 in general was a good year for music from Minnesota. In the annual Village Voice Pazz and Jop Critics Poll the Twin Cities accounted for the #2, 4 and 8 album and the #1, 4, 6, 15 and 17 single, and the video for the #2 single was filmed in St. Paul. Critics of the world were taking notice, and so was the buying public. In a rare bit of confluence, artistic greatness coincided with commercial success. A few things stick out in my mind.

A former boss at the Dayton’s Department store I worked at was promoted to music buyer. Dayton Hudson Department stores were big in Minnesota and Michigan, and I told him to pay attention to Prince’s next album, since he had a huge following in Detroit, in addition to his hometown. We all know how that turned out. I bought a new CD player that spring, and “Purple Rain” was among the first five CDs I bought. If I remember correctly, the CD player cost $400, and $15 a pop for the CDs.

I remember walking in Downtown Minneapolis at the height of “Purple Rain” mania. A Black man was listening to his Walkman on his headphones and singing along.

“Animals Striped Curious Roses”

Thank you for that everlasting mondegreen random Black man.

Prince had the Number One Song, Album and Movie all at once. In another case of Bix at the right place/right time I was at Northern Lights on the Wednesday night when “Purple Rain” had its local premiere at the Skyway Theater. I was talking to store manager Ryan when one of the local club kids was in shopping. I mentioned that it would be fun to see the movie, when the woman said “I have an extra ticket, want to join me? I wasn’t going to say no. I still don’t know her name, but with her “Clockwork Orange” inspired make up, she was instantly recognizable as a fixture on the local scene. Our tickets were in the nose-bleed section of a large downtown theatre, but I will forever remember the opening of the movie when her face flashed across the screen. I nudged her, she screamed out, “Hey that’s me” and the energy was sustained for the rest of the movie. Twenty-four hours later Prince was at the Hollywood premiere which was broadcast on MTV. I of course thought, “Been there done that.” Three days later tourists were already showing up at First Avenue.

Then there is the music, which in my mind has only been enrichened by the years. In a timely for 1984 comparison I would say that Prince was “Amadeus” while everyone else was merely Salieri. The lack of a bass on a Dance Number One single is a common talking point. Prince was simply flexing for the entire 5:52 of the 12-inch single and lack of bass was another layer in its quirkiness. C’mon, that Baroque keyboard section at the end is genius level for any piece of music, but especially for one that topped the single charts. I am often not a fan of faux orchestral flourishes in Pop/Rock music, I feel most artists who try come off as pompous and overwrought. Prince makes Baroque funky and danceable. Besides, who needs a bass line when the Linn drum provides a melody.

Lastly, what does “When Doves Cry” mean? This is a case where my personal experience has informed my opinion. About the time when “Doves” was released, my dad was about the age I am right now. He just had a knee replacement and there was a moment during his recovery where I saw a different dynamic between my parents, one that I had never seen before. I am sure their nerves were frazzled, but after 34 years of marriage they seemed distant. I had left my dad at the hospital and “When Doves Cry” was on the radio and the lyrics about his parents cut deep.

Prince had said that he juxtaposed the carnal relationship that “The Kid” had in the movie with the turmoil of his parent’s relationship. Cooing doves are the sound of love-birds, so when they cry, that’s the sound of the relationship in pain.

I internalized that thought, grieving for my parents 34-year relationship. God was I naïve. The years since have taught me that every long-lasting relationship goes through similar dynamics. My dad was in the midst of easing mom through some mental health issues when he had the surgery. Unknown to us he was also experiencing the onset of the disease that would rob him of his life. In their remaining seven years together, I saw the strength of my parent’s love.

I can’t divorce that image from “When Doves Cry” and as I struggled over the last few years with GBear’s slowly declining health I worried that I was running out of strength. I also worried that he was giving up on himself. I’m a keen observer. At work I’ll see three generations of a family shopping and notice the traits that tie them together. Yet somehow, I missed the traits that drew me to GBear, the love that was there while love was new and the sweat of his body was covering me, was still there. Our strength and love mirrored what I learned about my parents over three decades before. If you would have told me in 1984 that I would be sitting here in 2020 comparing the love GBear and I share, with the love my parents had, it would have been beyond my comprehension.

There is a reason “When Doves Cry” segues deftly through various elements, ebbing and flowing and ends with exultation. If you’re lucky, life is like that.

Posted in: The Number Ones: Prince’s “When Doves Cry”
#7  FacePeppler
Score:54 | Aug 25th

These kids would take him more seriously if they knew he composed The Rugrats theme

Posted in: Devo’s Mark Mothersbaugh Terrorized By Neighborhood TikTok Influencers’ “COVID Parties”
#6  Spudlord
Score:55 | Aug 25th

Fuck this fucking shit fuck. RIP to the realest one. Absolutely gutted.

Posted in: Power Trip’s Riley Gale Dead At 34
#5  angry_marxist
Score:56 | Aug 25th

I promise you your dumbass generation was every bit as collectively stupid as this current one and all the ones before and every single one to come. From my vantage point, notwithstanding greedy celebrities, the kids are alright.

Posted in: Devo’s Mark Mothersbaugh Terrorized By Neighborhood TikTok Influencers’ “COVID Parties”
#4  Scott Lapatine
Score:59 | Aug 26th

It was a nice tribute. Sucks that it was on Fox News

Posted in: Fox News Airs Tribute To Power Trip’s Riley Gale
#2  BixMeister
Score:73 | Aug 21st

“If you fall, I will catch you, I will be waiting”

Sometimes you hear a song in a new way and it just floors you. This song has always been emotional, but hearing it again, images and thoughts flood my mind. I’m thinking of the long nights alone, worrying about my husband who was recovering from a massive infection. The endless circle of visiting him, work, visiting him, home, then trying to hold our house together.

Gbear fell, but I didn’t catch him, not right away at least. It was a fall after all that caused his infection. I found this out later, he fell on the snow and ice, and was helped up by our neighbor. GBear never wanted me to worry, so he kept his pain from me until it was almost too late. I finally picked him up, taking him to the ER. When Cyndi pleads “I WILL be waiting” I think of how I fought for him while his infection, and the drugs he was taking to fight the infection, clouded his mind. I searched for the strength I needed when I questioned myself, wondering if I was doing enough. I fought for him while a once strong man had to reteach his muscles how to walk again, how to pick himself up, and how to take care of me, something he took pride in. And finally, I took pride last week when he and I went to a series of clinic visits, and GBear showed his strength and progress to his Neurologist.

Music’s power is often in being able to be interpreted in very personal ways. There is an upcoming Number One song that taught me that lesson in 1984 and again this year. There is also a Number One Dance/Disco song that couldn’t be any more personal. Therefore, many of us have a strong connection to music, one that others might not understand. I am glad that we’ve found a place to share that love of music.

Posted in: The Number Ones: Cyndi Lauper’s “Time After Time”


#5  jenniwho
Score:-13 | Aug 26th

How To Make It In America was underappreciated. Brittney Runs A Marathon was overrated. Shkreli was railroaded. Wtf did he do that was any more criminal than anyone else he’s associated with or did legit business with? Come on. I saw the livestream. Wasn’t like he was filming on a yacht (ahem). He didn’t do gangster shit, per se. Just tried white t-shirt crime without the benefit of having a big enough syndicate behind him. I honestly wish him the best. It’s obviously awful the music is being held hostage, but that isn’t on him. Period.

Posted in: Martin Shkreli & Wu-Tang Clan Movie Coming To Netflix
#4  Beep Beep
Score:-16 | Aug 21st

Wake me up if she has a chapter about the time she “decided” she was black.

Posted in: Mariah Carey – “Save The Day”
#3  BillyCorganApologistC
Score:-19 | Aug 26th

Wtf is even going on in these comment sections????? This is more masturbatory than an actual Prince video. Jesus Christ I get it, you have journalism degrees, chill the fuck out

Posted in: The Number Ones: Prince’s “When Doves Cry”
#2  foxythekid
Score:-22 | Aug 27th

How can this old bitch speak as if his whole movie isn’t about his relationship with his lyracist?

In other words, Mr. John can’t comprehend how fucked the music industry is now.

Posted in: Elton John Says Current Pop Hits Are “Not Real Songs” Unlike Those By Father John Misty And Conan Gray
#1  coxonsglasses
Score:-22 | Aug 25th

whelp i didn’t see “mark mothersbaugh becomes a boomer simp irrationally afraid of a fake pandemic while TikTokkers throw dope parties and foment much needed rebellion against public safety fascism” coming…everything is inverted now. Mothersbaugh used to be a visionary…now a paranoid crank collecting checks for predictable pro-forma film & TV scores? Did you jump the shark after the Rugrats theme, Mark?

Posted in: Devo’s Mark Mothersbaugh Terrorized By Neighborhood TikTok Influencers’ “COVID Parties”


Score:25 | Aug 21st

I don’t mean to be melodramatic but the fact that “Never Get to Hold You” was withheld from me for 5 years is literally homophobic.

Posted in: Carly Rae Jepsen Shares Emotion Bonus Tracks For Its 5th Anniversary

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