This is the most pathetic unsolicited e-mail I’ve received all week. It doesn’t mention C*IALI*S, HOODIA REVOLUTION, or YOUR E-MAIL ADDRESS WON THE LOTTERY AWARD 2006. It’s about indie rock rock and our deployed troops. I know how bad the situation is in Iraq (I totally saw it on Kathy Griffin’s D List), but the liberal use of asterisks and the ‘this message will self-destruct in three days,’ screams SPAM. Taking advantage of our troops in Iraq? Bad! Taking advantage of “keywords ‘indie,’ ‘indie bands,’ ‘unsigned,’ and ‘indie artists'”? Incorrigible. Plus, they use the word “Emusic” as if it wasn’t already a well-known and respected brand in the industry.
Subject: Indie Music & For Real People
WELCOME TO THE eMUSIC REVOLUTION!
“Where Royalties No Longer Matter”
“Where Musicians Actually Get Pai*d”
“Where Fans Get Pai*d NOT Threatened”
“Where Major A&R Scum Is NEVER Welcome”!!
I hope this email finds you well.
I’m contacting you after finding you online using the keywords “indie”, “indie bands”, “unsigned”, “indie artists”. It seems that at one time or another, in some capacity, you were at least mildly active in the online music community.
Whatever the case may be, we hope and feel confident that you WILL be deeply interested in participating in a program we’ll soon be launching.
We’ve created a unique series which will encompass both “online” and “hard copy” distribution of Indie music to our deployed troops in various parts of the world, especially Iraq and Afghanistan.
We are inviting YOU to participate by joining our membership site which will be the “center” of this ongoing project. Check it out and help yourself whilst helping us fill a “real” need for our troops, all while helping musicians!
Any questions or challenges whatsoever, please don’t hesitate for a single moment to pick up the phone and give me a call.
P.S. This message is time sensitive and WILL expire in 3 days, at which time the window of opportunit*y must be closed. If you’re interested, please let it be known quickly as we are currently finalizing our public launch.
P.P.S. It does NOT matter if you are a musician or in a band. If you care about our troops, love music, and having more money doesn’t hurt your feelings none, then this mission is one that YOU should proceed with ALL deliberate haste to join! You say you wanna revolution? Now you’ve got one! JOIN IT TODAY!
And by the way…
This message has been sent from 1480 Avalon Boulevard, Casselberry, FL 32707. In the event that you aren’t interested, just send us a short note and let us know if you wouldn’t mind. It’s ALWAYS hard to try and coordinate a project such as this, and it takes a ton o’ time to do so.
The last thing we need or want to do is waste both your time and ours by emailing you over and over again if you’re not even interested. So in the event you’re just not interested, just follow this link and we’ll manually remov*e you so you won’t receive a*dditional emails.
**Don’t opt out! EVERYTHING in life happens for a reason. There’s a reason why in today’s volatile email marketing environment, that “this” email ma*de it to YOU and now YOU are actually rea*ding it. I mean YOU nothing but the very best and if you’ll stick for just a short time, you’ll understand that Synchronicity has EVERYTHING to do with this.
This really is your chance to do something good with your talents.
We need and want YOU more than you know.
Our troops need YOU!
Give it a chance. Give “us” a chance.
But, you know, if it’s not a scam, burn some “LDN” for our soldiers.