M Night Shyamalan Vs. Woody Allen

I heard something disturbing on TV the other day. It was a commercial for the movie Scoop. “From the director of Match Point” was the pitch. Jeez, I know he made some lousy flicks in the last twenty years, but is “new Woody Allen movie” so unpalatable to Scarlett Johansson fans?

M Night Shyamalan, meanwhile, has bigger problems. His new thriller Lady In The Water is fun to whisper, but a drag to watch. I’m told the plot is more incoherent than a Justin Timberlake video. How long will “Directed by M Night Shyamalan” remain a valid marketing angle?

Let’s momentarily ignore the writer/director/actors’ big screen slumps, and see who’s got the better iTunes Celebrity Playlist (both posted yesterday).

M Night Shyamalan

1. Bob Dylan & Johnny Cash – “Girl From The North Country”
Damn, I wish I could be one percent as inspiring as this.

2. Bob Dylan – “Blowin’ In The Wind”
This is empircal evidence that he is a god.

3. Blink-182 – “All Of This”
I love this song. Almost did a video for this. It would have been about vampires.

4. Pearl Jam – “Rearviewmirror”
“I wrote my first studio screenplay to this.”

5. Concrete Blonde – “Joey”
Reminds me of my N.Y.U. days. Love this song.

6. Tesla – “Love Song (Live From The Trocadero)”
I was there when they recorded this. I’m screaming with the rest of them.

7. Eminem – “Lose Yourself”
Anthem for all us outcasts.

8. Jeff Buckley – “Strange Fruit (Live)”
Like being in a trance. Spiritual.

9. Jeff Buckley – “Hallejulah”
One of the ten best songs ever recorded. I tried to get this for The Sixth Sense.

10. Kanye West – “Through The Wire”
When this song comes on, my children and I start cheering at the Unbreakable reference.

11. Pearl Jam – “Alive”
Somehow, these three songs are what I feel inside, but can’t express.

12. Pearl Jam – “Black”
Somehow, these three songs are what I feel inside, but can’t express.

13. Pearl Jam – “Jeremy”
Somehow, these three songs are what I feel inside, but can’t express. Pearl Jam are gods of storytelling.

14. Johnny Cash – “Hurt”
It brings tears to my eyes. Are we all going to feel like this in the end?

15. U2 – “Bad”
One of the classic songs of all-time. Sprawling and epic, like “Stairway To Heaven.”

Woody Allen
Jazz

Tough call. I’m gonna give it to Woody. You can’t put three songs from the same album on a mix.