The World’s Worst MP3 Blog Would Look Like This

We know this is old news, but for the five of you who haven’t read it yet … hilarious:

August 7th, 2006
Mash-up in the house, y’all! Some bedroom producer from Norway who calls himself Calvin Johnsven just sent me this fantastic song (OK, I guess it’s more like a sound collage) of UK superstar Lily Allen’s gorgeous vocals set against a background of the most excruciatingly unlistenable moments from Lou Reed’s 1975 classic fuck-you to his record label, Metal Machine Music. The result is a challenging, engaging, sometimes transcendent, much more often cringe-inducing foray past the traditional boundaries of mash-up art. Mr. Johnsven, I eagerly await your next creation.

Download: “Metily Mallenchine Music”

August 8th, 2006
Carlos D. never ceases to amaze me. First he flaunts his studio wizardry with remixes of the three good songs from Interpol’s second album (you have to listen closely, but he made the hi-hat a little louder on “Slow Hands”). Now he’s taken the Interpol rip-off band Editors (I call them Copy Editors) and remixed their best song, “Bullets,” by taking off the vocals and singing the same lyrics himself. Heaven.

Download: “Bullets” (Carlos D. remix)

August 10th, 2006
Fuck yes! Another fantastic, ironic cover of pop schlock by a hipster! There is literally nothing about Sufjan Stevens that is anything less than perfect; this tender balladeer is great-looking, crafts beautiful melodies effortlessly, and, while I might not agree with it, I completely admire and respect his fanatic Christian faith. But the guy’s got a sense of humor, too! Here’s an mp3 of Sufjan and his six-string playing a medley of songs from the soundtrack of tween phenom High School Musical. (The movie’s not bad either! Guilty pleasure alert!)

Download: “High School Musical Medley” (Sufjan Acoustic)

August 13th, 2006
You heard it here first! I was eating breakfast at my favorite café, when who should sit down next to me but Mr. Feuds With Brandon himself, Sam Endicott from the Bravery! Now, I know some of you assholes think the Bravery aren’t cool, but you’re all just brainwashed hipsters. It’s about songs, not image. Anyway, there he was, with his fauxhawk-cum-pompadour and black eyeliner (rawk!), talking with some hot-ass model I’m sure he’s dating. I pulled out my digital recorder and surreptitiously taped their conversation hoping to catch some trash talk about the Killers or cool road stories (I also kind of hoped he would just start singing their next single) but all I got was a really low-quality sound bite of him ordering breakfast. (That’s me sneezing in the background.)

Download: “Could I have my eggs scrambled and well done, but not, like, burned? Also, I’ll have tomatoes instead of the hash browns. Coffee would be great. Thanks.” (Sam Endicott exclusive)

August 14th, 2006
It took a while, but I finally managed to track down every cover of a Smiths or Morrissey song by a pop-punk or emo band. This one’s a zip file. (Contains 4,740 songs)

Download: allsmithsandmorrissey.zip (6.3 GB)

August 16th, 2006
The new Thom Yorke solo album is amazing! So many good songs! I’m not even going to post anything. Just go buy it!!

August 16th, 2006
I don’t usually post twice in the same day, but my roommate just made this great song.

Download: “I Regret Putting My Parents In Debt To Attend NYU” (demo)

August 18th, 2006
Okay, so I just got my hands on the new Justin Timberlake album in its entirety at lossless audio quality and — hold on, somebody from the FBI just burst in with a shotgun

From the author’s MySpace:

About me:
Time to start taking this a little more seriously! Uhhhhmmmmm, well, my name is Jarrett; I really, really, really, really don’t like bad music…

Jarrett’s Interests
You know how someone will seem like an ostensibly decent or even good person in their day to day life, and then you check their MySpace profile and they like the Mars Volta or Metallica or Coldplay? A really great thing about me is that you don’t have to worry about that. I’ll spare you a long list, but knowing that my favorite bands are Oasis, the Smiths and the Strokes should really tell you all you need to know.

Is the bio satire too?