Ryan’s unadulterated idolization of the Gallaghers is rubbing off on him in all the wrong ways. Unless you’re a hot beef-craving blogger (nullus?) who scours the web for this sort of stuff, in which case nevermind, Ryan you’re doing great. Actually reader Danielle did the scouring for us this time, pointing to Ryan’s “Is This It?” feature for the Guardian where the estimable British publication poses existential lyrical questions (“Where’s your head at?”, “Who got da funk”, etc.) and asks for freely associated answers. So Ryan, “What’s the frequency, Kenneth?”:
I mean, seriously, who is Kenneth? The answer should be, “Hey Michael [Stipe] what would happen if you sat down and actually thought this shit out for 10 minutes?” I mean, no offence but there’s a slight difference between Monster and Fables Of The Reconstruction and we all know what that is; it’s a level of giving a fuck. $80m will do that to anyone who has a credit card and access to a Barney’s. I have seen the band since and I say all this as a fan, by the way.
Not bad. A little hedging in that kicker, but Noel would appreciate the effort. He’d also appreciate this next answer, but you already knew that:
(What’s the story) morning glory?
It seems like such a seedy question to ask but it’s growing on me. You missed an opportunity to play the pun with me… I think (What’s The Story) Morning Glory is an Oasisism. It doesn’t have to make sense, it’s just awesome. They find the thing, it works and it rolls off the tongue. I don’t like the new album, I fucking love it. It’s what headphones were made for. I’ve been playing Wonderwall every night on my tour. I know who I’m singing it to; unfortunately I don’t think she does.
Ry saves his best zing for almost-last:
When will I be famous?
My God: if you’re lucky, never! Fame is an unnatural construct and those who go in search of it are the least likely to find it. I mean, really, does anyone want to sit through a show by the Killers? What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, unfortunately with the exception of the Killers.
There’s your Oasisism right there. However, the Killers refuse to play ball. The Winnipeg Sun asked ‘em about it:
“[Ryan]’s probably never been to a Killers show,” said Flowers before adding: “I’m not even going to start. It’s stupid. It doesn’t do anybody any good. Like that comment that he just made isn’t doing us any good and it’s not going to do him any good. He’s going to wake up in a few days after being asked about it a million times and he’s going to regret it. It’s better to just stay out of it. He needs a little press, maybe?”
[Ry photo by Donald Bowers for Getty]