Shandi Sullivan: America’s Next Top Airhead

I don’t want to pick on Shandi (the gawky Walgreen’s clerk from Kansas City). I don’t care that she once burglarized a bulk candy store. But sometimes she so just asks for it. For example, last night’s episode (my girlfriend made me watch it, I swear)…

Shandi cheats on her boyfriend and he’s really broken up about it. Nothing funny about that. She blames it on “testosterone deprivation” and her boy Eric agrees to stay in the relationship only if she busts her ass really hard to get that contract (i.e., “I can’t believe you FUCKED ANOTHER GUY you stupid model slut, but if you win this TV competition, I better see some cash money!”).

This was allegedly the big draw of this episode: The America’s Next Top Model “hot tub orgy” where Shandi fucks a stranger. But there was BY FAR a better moment that you might’ve missed. Thanks to eagle-eyed Eliza Jane for pointing this out…

While shopping alone in Milan, Shandi comes across an item of clothing she likes. The vendor tries to sell it to her, but she doesn’t speak Italian. SO SHE STARTS SPEAKING ENGLISH WITH AN ITALIAN ACCENT. “No, it’s-a … toooo-beeeg,” she explains to him. WTF? Shandi, if you don’t speak Italian, speaking English with an Italian accent is not a passable alternative.

Between this show and Real World Season 32, I’m beginning to realize Tuesday night has become the home for America’s dumbest reality shows. Don’t get me wrong — they’re entertaining — but they’re dumb. You get dumber just watching them. They make even Paula Abdul seem clever.