Seems like the …AYWKUBTTOD gang is having a rough couple of weeks, don’t it? While we like their new record So Divided (the first few tracks in particular), not everyone’s on board. Sure, it’s getting mixed reviews, but don’t beat youselves up about it guys! Seriously, anyone got the back story there? WTF?
P4K writes that guitarist Kevin Allen was collapsing all over the stage during Trail Of Dead’s 11/18 show in St. Petersburg, apparently irking Conrad to the point that he announced the next song would be their last, smashed his guitar (OMG!), and registered “one helluva running shove” on the ailing Allen. You can sorta see said shove on this video, but go here for better footage of the Kevin collapse.
After reading Conrad’s Rockers Studio responses, we’re thinking maybe just before collapsing Kevin said that he enjoyed masturbating while watching televised sports. Come on, it’s possible! That would seriously piss off Keely.
CONRAD KEELY, …AYWKUBTTOD
1. What is your favorite word?
2. What is your least favorite word?
ENJOY – IT IS OFTEN USED INAPPROPRIATELY
3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
19TH CENTURY SCULPTURES OF NUDE WOMEN
4. What turns you off?
SPORTS ON TELEVISION – TALK ABOUT AN ERECTION KILL. IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO MASTURBATE WITH THE SOUND OF A SPORTS ANNOUNCER YELLING IN THE BACKGROUND.
5. What is your favorite curse word?
I DON’T HAVE A FAVORITE, I’M AN EQUAL OPPORTUNITY EMPLOYER.
6. What sound or noise do you love?
THE SOUND OF A POWER TOOL BEING TURNED ON FOLLOWED BY THE MUFFLED WHIMPER OF A GAGGED PRISONER.
7. What sound or noise do you hate?
BABIES CRYING IN ADJACENT ROW ON AIRPLANES
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
I WANT TO BE A WRITER.
9. What profession would you not like to do?
I WOULDN’T WANT TO CLEAN PUBLIC LAVATORIES IN SOME INDUSTRIAL YANKEE CITY.
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you
arrive at the Pearly Gates?
“CONRAD, THANK GOD YOU ARRIVED. I’VEHAD NO ONE TO TALK TO SINCE THE CHRISTIANS CONDEMNED ALL THE NATURAL PHILOSOPHERS TO PURGATORY.”