List

12-Step Program For Britney’s Recovery

Hate to start Friday morning with the heavy questions … but can you believe how quickly Brit squandered every ounce of good will she accrued in the week after her divorce? Does it not awe you to think that, somehow, Kevin is coming out of the Fedivorce looking classy by comparison? Our heads hurt. Well, MTV has some Spears suggestions — a dozen, in fact, just like AA. Guess that makes thirteen. Anyway, go here for the list. Or, on the off chance you don’t feel like being yelled at by John Norris, read it below:

01. Don’t hang out with Paris Hilton
02. Don’t chew gum or smoke in public
03. Do ditch the dollar-store extensions
04. Do show off musical talent
05. Do update the website
06. Do get a publicist
07. Do wear designer clothes
08. Do consider a sleigh ride with Mr. Rudolph this Christmas
09. Do work with Pharrell and/or Timbaland
10. Do reach out to Max Martin
11. Don’t try to one-up Kevin
12. Do stay away from Las Vegas

Betcha can think of another “Public Don’t” for Brit. (Hint: vajayjay) If you’ve got some more “do”s and “don’t”s, feel free to lay ‘em on us. (Another hint: She’s hopeless.)