Rock ‘N Roll Fantasy Camp

With a roster of “counselors” including Bret Michaels, Mark Slaughter, Scott Ian, and KISS’s Paul Stanley and Bruce Kulick, Rock ‘N Roll Fantasy Camp is courting a certain sort of voluminous-follicled fan — but playing Beach Boys songs for Brian Wilson? We could get into that. First, we come up with ten large. Blabbermouth reports:

The cost of the five-day retreat, which will take place Feb. 15-19 in Hollywood, is $9,499, according to organizers. The camp culminates in a Battle of the Bands blowout at the House of Blues on Sunset in Hollywood, California.

When RRFC comes to Hollywood, there will be events galor to make rock dreams come true:

  • GRATEFUL DEAD Night (Feb. 17) ? Featuring the GRATEFUL DEAD’s drummer Mickey Hart leading a jam with each band.

  • BEACH BOYS Night (Feb. 18) ? BEACH BOYS co-founder Brian Wilson serves as judge as the bands compete in a play-off featuring BEACH BOYS songs.

  • Original Song Contest (Feb. 18) ? Each band will perform its original song ? which will be judged, mixed, recorded, and put on CD and on iTunes!

  • House of Blues Battle of the Bands (Feb. 19) ? Paul Stanley (lead singer, guitarist and songwriter of KISS) will perform a KISS song on stage live with every band at the House of Blues Battle of the Bands. Dickey Betts of THE ALLMAN BROTHERS will join each band for some Southern rock.

  • At the camp you’ll record your own song, get lessons from the counselors, and “perform to a sold out audience at a major rock venue” — all captured on DVD for your future humiliation. Sign up for the London one and record at Abbey Road! (But resist all temptation to grab three friends and pose like the Abbey cover; the cabbies will aim for you). Cute idea, but $9,500 is a stretch to to hear glory stories about Bret fucking Pam Anderson. For that kind of money, who would you want to be your Rock Fantasy Camp counselor? Keep it to the living; maybe they’ll listen to you for next year.