20 Worst Rhyme Crimes In Pop Music

Cracked has put together a list of the worst rhyme offenders in pop music history. A lot like looking for sand in the desert, but it’s a fun game. (And its taken all our power not to rhyme so far. You’re welcome.) Here are some highlights. (Thanks, Ray!):

19. Jadakiss and Kanye West, “Gettin’ It In”
Don’t try to treat me like I ain’t famous,
My apologies, are you into astrology?
Cause I’m, I’m tryin to make it to Uranus

18. Styx, “Mr. Roboto”
Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto,
Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto

17. The Police, “Walking on the Moon”
Giant steps are what you take,
Walking on the moon,
I hope my legs don’t break,
Walking on the moon

16. Foreigner, “Hot Blooded”
That’s why I’m hot blooded, check it and see,
I got a fever of a hundred and three

15. Rod Stewart, “Every Picture Tells a Story”
On the Peking ferry I was feeling merry,
Sailing on my way back here
I fell in love with a slit eyed lady,
By the light of an eastern moon,
Shangai Lil never used the pill

11. Michael Bolton, “Love is a Wonderful Thing”
The only thing a river knows,
Is runnin’ to the sea,
And every spring when a flower grows,
It happens naturally

7. Red Hot Chili Peppers, “Snow”
Hey oh… listen what I say oh
I got your hey oh, now listen what I say oh

1. Bob Dylan, “Ballad of a Thin Man”
You have many contacts
Among the lumberjacks
To get you facts
When someone attacks your imagination
But nobody has any respect
Anyway they already expect you
To just give a check
To tax-deductible charity organizations

“Ballad Of A Thin Man” at # 1?! That’s like our favorite Dylan song! Sorry Cracked, but that is whack. Yeah, we rhymed. Head over for the rest. Phish ain’t pop, otherwise “The tires are the things on your car that make contact with the road/The car is the thing on the road that takes you back to your abode” is a shoe-in. But it’s not like indie rock’s without blame. Any offenders come to mind? Un deux trois du mirror noir?

Tags: Bob Dylan