Scissor Sisters Unleash Their Daytime Passions

Holy fucking infomercial. Scissor Sisters finally made their acting debut, and it’s classy! The plot: Endora the child witch, a massive Jake Shears fan, casts a Scissor spell and summons the hammy glammers for a private performance. The agenda: Sell those discs. Just in case the subsequent full-screen shot of the Ta-Dah album cover isn’t subtle enough, Endora’s pop-up thought bubble spells it out for all to see. But there’s no logic continuity issues here; see, Endora’s a witch, and witches say “Ta-Dah” when they’re executing black magic (like fiendishly transporting Scissor Sisters from Wembley to a living room to sing “Land Of A Thousand Words”). And the child wizard’s a savvy one — she even remembered to conjure the stage monitors! Imagine what it would’ve been like if it had been Lawrence Welk. Sorry housewives, don’t expect a repeat appearance; Passions last episode airs 9/7/07. Sometimes daytime television just ain’t fair.