Video Hangover: Asia – “Don’t Cry”

Every week, we dig in the archives for videos that we find noteworthy, memorable, or just unbelievably stupid. And then, we break ‘em down for you. Why Video Hangover? Because when you watch as many videos as we do, you’re going to feel it afterwards.

“Don’t Cry”
Asia, 1983

A few things to think about while you’re trying not to cry during this video…

In the director’s cut, Carl Palmer plays Chewbacca
Given that it was 1983, some of the effects in this video are genuinely well executed. Others — not so much. On the plus side, we have the handcuffs that come out of the wall, the realistic knockoff of the Star Wars cantina, and the cool stone-is-actually-water showstopper. On the minus side, we have the jungle that looks like the houseplant section of a Home Depot, the comically un-scary skeleton, and John Wetton’s outfit, which makes him look like a cross between a WWI general and a gay Han Solo.

Allow us to introduce you to Steve Miller and his band
Here’s to you, mysterious pyramid lady. Sure you use more eye makeup than the Ultimate Warrior, and yes, sometimes you like to wear your full burka to the local bar, but we have we have nothing but respect for a woman who entertains herself primarily by luring members of Asia to their death.

Emerson, Lake & Palmer + Yes + The Buggles + King Crimson = wtf??
Maybe our definition of “super” is a little more stringent than AllMusic, but we never quite got it when people referred to Asia as a “supergroup” — until we saw this video. Really, Asia was more like a group of super heroes. They climbed mountains, crossed deserts, hacked through jungles, and searched for mythical treasure. Of course, they also got burned, drowned, trapped in shackles, and thrown off cliffs. And in that way their exploring was much like their music: mildly exciting in places, but ultimately not worth the trouble.

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