Kings Of Leon Need Separate Toilets

Racist or not, the biggest bummer about “Radioactive” was that it wasn’t exactly the return to early KOL that you had hoped for. As one person commented, “I’m beginning to feel like all the badassery and sweet riffs from their first two was just a calculated image that I fell for… and I don’t like being made the fool.” Well, (sorry), here’s another sign that KOL are a totally different band. According to a blog post by Groove Armada’s Andy Cato, who played the V Festival alongside Kings Of Leon, KOL and their security went out of their way to alienate the other bands.

The first offense: The band had security reserve a row of showers just for them. Writes Cato:

Out of nowhere came a very large man. “Reserved for the Kings of Leon” he said, “and so is this half of the artist toilets”. It’s hard to believe that someone actually phoned their agent and said “Listen I know that Paul Weller, Kasabian, Florence, Stereophonics, Groove Armada + co are all sharing the artist village and facilities, but we require that you put a fence down the middle of the toilets and showers and put a large man there to keep them just for us.” But somebody did.

The second offense: Clearing pathways so Kings Of Leon and their entourage can drive around unimpeded:

…4 blacked out Range Rovers came round the corner. One for each King of Leon. As it became clear what all this presidential fuss was about, tom gave the worldwide one fingered sign of dislike as the cars went past. The last one stopped. The drummer got out making “come on then” type gestures. “Come on then” Tom gestured back. Instead, the drummer went back behind his bodyguards, and, pointing towards Tom, Paul Weller, and the various other musicians who were pinned by the side of the road, said “I want them removed.”

Cato says the promoter came and smoothed over the impeding fight. But after their show (Groove Armada headlined a different stage), they were once again asked to pull over in their shuttle van to and from the artist area so that Kings Of Leon could pass through. They exited their bus to “salute” KOL, who, according to Cato, once again left in four separate vehicles. He also says that other artists sent the band two cases of champagne for standing up to the Kings.

Now, the band hasn’t responded to defend themselves. And the only other report of diva-ish behavior from Kings Of Leon was when they canceled a show after too much pigeon crap rained down on them. Totally understandable by the way. Pigeons are basically flying rats. So let’s play devil’s advocate here and think of some reasons why Kings Of Leon would need their own row of toilets and showers:

  • Kings Of Leon have shy bladders, and need total silence to use the bathroom.
  • Kings Of Leon have irritable bowel syndrome and were just being polite to their fellow artists.
  • The Followills, being raised by a preacher, grew up ashamed of their bodies, and have an unnatural fear of being seen naked.
  • The Followills, being raised by a preacher, have amazing self-discipline and work out constantly. They didn’t want to make Groove Armada feel bad if they accidentally got a peek at their sick pythons while they were exiting the showers.
  • The Followills are all misanthropes who started the band to make enough money to never have to interact with people again. Exactly what you would do if you were rich.
  • Have you ever used a bathroom at a music festival?

(via The Daily Swarm)