Video Hangover: Paul McCartney & Michael Jackson – “Say Say Say”

Every week, we dig in the archives for videos that we find noteworthy, memorable, or just unbelievably stupid. And then, we break ‘em down for you. Why Video Hangover? Because when you watch as many videos as we do, you’re going to feel it afterwards.

“Say Say Say”
Paul McCartney & Michael Jackson, 1983

If the elixir really works, why do they still need the scam?

George Martin vs. Quincy Jones, best 2-out-of-3 in Pong
One thing we’ve always wondered about the early ’80s Macca/Jacko collaborations: how did “The Girl is Mine” end up on Thriller, one of the best-selling albums of all time, while the clearly superior “Say Say Say” languished on the okay-but-sorta-crappy Pipes Of Peace? Sure, both sold a bazillion copies in the end, but how did they figure out who would get which song? Coin flip? Potato-sack race? Platinum-record toss?

Lisa Marie Presley knows that look well
Oh Linda, you know we miss you terribly, but has anybody ever yelled “fire” in a crowded theater with less conviction? The late Mrs. McCartney never was much of an actress, but her wooden line readings and generally poor emoting seem even more glaring when compared to Paul and Michael, two consummate pros at the top of their game. Although, to her credit, she does nail the scene with the guitar. That’s just the sort of forced smile you’d expect from a woman whose husband is forcing her to share a hotel room with Michael Jackson.

I had a dream … an awesome dream
Still, it’s hard not to feel a little bad for Michael, who puts up with a lot of shit in this video. It’s not enough that he has to dress like a homeless Bill Cosby — he actually has to drink the Mac & Jack elixir, which has the color and consistency of a salmon milkshake. Later, he falls off a balance beam, and, as if all that weren’t bad enough, the chick he’s macking on at the bar turns out to be … his sister LaToya? No wonder the guy was such a freaking mess. Hopefully Paul and Linda let him keep all the orphans they bought from Mrs. Ensign. You know, for the effort.