Shorting The Hollywood Undead

Prediction markets are all the rage these days. Got a line on the Idol final? Bet big money on your Jordan hunch here. Dig Bruce Campbell’s rendition of “Hungry Like the Wolf“? Buy low, before his comeback really catches fire!

But what about music? Since we stopped spending so much on CDs, we’ve been itching to throw some money at something rock related, and finally, our horse has come in: Media Predict, a futures market for bands. According to NYT, the site allows you to place wagers on “the chances that unsigned musicians who currently top the rankings on, the social networking site, will get a record deal.” If the band signs, the price goes to $100. If the band craps out by the specified date, your investment drops to $0 and you end up destitute and alone, like the degenerate gambler you are. In the meantime, the price fluctuates based on what other people think. Truly, we are living in awesome times.

But before you hit the site, we thought we’d give you a quick overview of some of the bands you’ll have a chance to buy low, along with our official analyst ratings.

Jeffree Star
He looks like a cross between Marilyn Manson and the Lorax. He sounds like the Pet Shop Boys covering Paul Barman. And we don’t mean any of that as a compliment.
Rating: Strong Sell

Hollywood Undead
Try to remember the worst Limp Bizkit song ever. Got it? Now, imagine some songs that are much, much worse.
Rating: Strong Sell

The Scene Aesthetic
Two earnest young men with guitars. Neither of them can sing, but they sure do look cute trying!
Rating: Sell

The Medic Droid
One part Killers, one part “Club Hits ’92.” A little heavy on the vocoder, but at least the name is sort of cool. Sort of.
Rating: Hold

Ingrid Michaelson
We had a Lisa Loeb joke all lined up here, until we heard her song on the Grey’s Anatomy season finale. And we all know what that means.
Rating: Huge, raging buy!

Remember, you’re betting on whether any of these bands will snag a major or indie-label contract by September. So sign up, grab your (fake) $5K, and get ready to play kingmaker! And if you have any other music-related bets you want to make, we’re all ears.