Britney And Kevin Go To The Movies

In honor of Independence Day, Stereogum presents a short play based on a true story…

June 27th, 2004. Santa Monica.

Kevin: “Yo girl, wanna see a movie tonight yo?”
Britney: “That sounds like fun! Like something a normal couple would do!”

Kevin: “Get me some Twizzizzlers? I only gots two dollars.”
Britney: “There’s Cheetos and Red Bull in my purse babe. We can share.”

Honestly, I think we should just trust our president in every decision he makes and should just support that, you know, and be faithful in what happens.

Britney: “I’m gonna kill you! You said we were seeing Garfield!”

Kevin: “We’re still getting married right?”
Britney: “Of course baby! I couldn’t stay mad at you. Hey, wasn’t it sweet how Mr. Bush, you know, kept reading to the children even when he was obviously under a lot of stress? I love America.”