Billy Joel Celebrates “Christmas In Fallujah”

Billboard brings forth the good cheer of Billy Joel’s return from self-imposed pop retirement with a second single this year. And he’s still got war on his mind. The track’s called “Christmas In Fallujah,” and it’s highly unfortunate. This coming from long time Piano men (two of us are Strong Island born and raised), so you should believe it’s horrible. Plus Billy’s not even singing or playing piano on it. He says:

I thought someone with a young voice should be singing this, someone just starting out in life. Plus, you know, I’m 58 years old. My voice isn’t the voice I was thinking of when I was writing; I was thinking of a soldier, someone of that age.

So rather than allow the tune to make a mockery of himself (or at least, less of one), Billy enlisted the Long Island unknown Cass Dillon for the militaristic holiday jingle. Thanks to Billy, Cass has gone from an unknown to “that guy in that terrible new Billy Joel song.” Merry Christmas.

After a second listen, we realized what it reminded us of. Right? Try singing “We came to bring these people freedom / We came to fight the infidel” or just “It’s Christmas in Fallujah” over the wordless intro. Holiday fun!

In other BJ news, it’s been 25 years since “Allentown,” and he’s celebrating by talking to the local news.

UPDATE: Here’s Billy’s pre-song intro: