Video Hangover: Bryan Adams – “Reggae Christmas”

Every week, we dig in the archives for videos that we find noteworthy, memorable, or just unbelievably stupid. And then, Jon McMillan breaks ‘em down for you. Why Video Hangover? Because when you watch as many videos as we do, you’re going to feel it afterwards.

“Reggae Christmas”
Bryan Adams, 1984

The holiday video season kicks off with one of the least necessary songs ever written.

The conga line started in 1984 and stretched all the way into oblivion
In case anybody was wondering what MTV was like in 1984, “Reggae Christmas” serves as a pretty good time capsule: Martha Quinn was skinny, JJ Jackson was black, Nina Blackwood had hair like a flaming porcupine, and Bryan Adams was a figment of Pee-Wee Herman’s imagination.

Speaking of Pee-Wee (Mr. Reubens if you’re nasty)
Are there any Pee-Wee completists out there who can explain the significance of the Mr. T doll? Is there a missing piece to the video, or did Alan Hunter take the doll as some sort of hostage so that Pee-Wee would have to VJ while he got wasted on Mark Goodman’s special eggnog and tried to sex up the interns in the ad sales department? Man, Alan Hunter was a dick.

The ghost of Bob Marley showed up later, and rolled over in its grave
I don’t think much of this video, but I do appreciate Adams’ kitchen-sink approach to cameos. Slap a Santa hat on Pee-Wee Herman, round up the original “fab five” MTV VJs, liquor up your bass player and set everybody loose in the studio — anything to divert attention from the fact that you’re singing a song called “Reggae Fucking Christmas.”

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Tags: Bryan Adams